Bullshit RPG: And I Would Walk 500 Miles; And I Would Walk 500 More

Mistah Magyyk Man cups a hand to his ear. It sounds like Mistah Bandage Man needs his help!

"Don't worry, I'm on my way!"

To the roof! His skin takes on a certain pattern of blue and red. Mistah Magyyk Man strides past Frank Frill over to the ladder and begins his ascent.

His climb is slow yet powerful, taking each rung one at a time in a firm, heroic grip. After all, we can't be goofing off and having "ladder parties" while lives are at stake, can we?

Once at the top, he stands proud in a majestic pose, putting his hands on his hips as the "cape" around his shoulders flaps behind him in the wind.

"Never feah...for MISTAH MAGYYK MAN IS HEAH!" he declares.

mud pies
MA: 5

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dem shots

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The bandits all attack the barrier at will, causing the barrier to flicker and distort like a CRT screen that's having a magnet pass it by. As they attack, the bandits lose their footing in the newly formed muddy ground surface. The dwarves bolts strike 4 of the remaining 15 bandits, killing 1 and striking 3 in the chest. From what can be seen, 4 of the remaining 14 bandits are pretty severely wounded. Erghun-Rho is also able to see 5 spirits, 1 of which is pretty heavily dazed.
"The barrier ain't gonna hold them much longer. They're stronger than the last group."

Suddenly from behind, the Magyyk Man appears and makes his declaration of arrival while Frank and the human driver scuttle to the stairs in order to make their way down to the stockroom.

She looks towards Maggyk Man. "Good now that your here help repel or kill the bandits!" She turns back to the enemies and casts another earth spell to cause spikes to erupt from the muddy ground.

Erghun-Rho is saddened by the others not combining their abilities. He bolsters himself by committing to a new plan. He calls out to the spirits in the voice of fire.

"REJOICE IN YOUR FREEDOM! EMBRACE YOUR SHINING COMRADE AND MOVE AS ONE!"

Erghun-Rho flings the kindled soul as a streak of fire piercing through the newly risen spirits. He focuses his spiritual connection towards the center of the bandits, with whatever spirits are newly lit aflame he attempts to create a towering amalgamation of soulfire revenants.

She halts her casting as a thought comes to mind. "That's just crazy enough to work!" She turns back to Magyk man. "Can you create a cloud of gas that is odorless and combustible to cover our enemies with?"

spikes
MA 4 (5-1(can't see where the solid ground is past mud))

fire revenant
MA 4 (5-1(multiple kindling))

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# ghosts

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bandit counter

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Emmilia attempts to raise spikes from beyond the mud, but instead she finds that her mind feels muddied.

The fire that Erghun-Rho seemingly brought to life rushes towards the bandits, creating 3 more forms similar to itself.
Erghun-Rho recognizes that that revenant wasn't able to kindle the first heavily dazed ghost and another ghost that dodged out of the way.
Immediately afterwards, one of the bandits fires a massive gust of wind through the original revenant, blowing it out along with the original ghost.

The bandits attack the barrier once more, causing the barrier to once again flicker; though this time the barrier seems to be flickering in and out of existence as opposed to simply fluctuating in magical power and distorting.

Meanwhile the dwarves are busy reloading their mounted weapons and the Magyyk man is still standing by the ladder, maintaining his triumphant stance.

The loss of these spirits is a desecration and an embarrassment to Erghun-Rho (Rho for short from here on). Instead of cursing his failures he turns to Emmilia and says:

"He is indisposed aaand I cannot conjure such fireblood. I wiiill go in search of any produccct that will materialize your plan. As I search conjure any barrier that will impede them!"

He slides down the ladder in search of resilient fireblood, like oil. As Rho searches he publicly asks any down below where he can find oil or another highly combustible substance.

The Man of Magyyk crosses his arms and shakes his head. "No can do, miss. There's no fun in an odorless gas after all."

He takes a long deep breath in, puffs himself up even more, and forms an O with his lips.

He grabs his staff and propels a thin jet of yellow-ish gas out of his mouth at high speed out past the barrier, where it disperses to engulf the bandits. The gas is thicc, highly flammable, and smells strongly of cheese.

(I actually halted my casting of the spell, figured that meant I canceled it)

She shouts towards the dwarves. "Got any fire arrows!?"

my bad. doesn't change anything so I"ll just refund ur mana.

Not waiting for a reply from the dwarves, she tries to create several tendrils of muddy water from the mud pit the bandits are in and grabs the one with the hammer.

Cheese and Fine Fermented Tentacle Grape Juice
Cheese Gas MA: 4 (5-1(pretty large distance away))
Tendrils MA: 4 (5-1(multiple, continually controlled))

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Bandit Blocku

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The Magyyk man puffs out his cheesy gas. It streams out of his mouth and spreads out in the area the bandits occupy.
It seems like one of the bandits is trying to cast some magic, but he seems to have failed, resulting him him just standing in a pose that he seems to think is cool.
As the gas spreads, it eventually reaches the fire revenants and immediately ignites. Some portion of the bandits seem to have been smart enough to recognize that gas + fire probably leads to explosions, so they ducked into the muddy water to protect themselves.

Boom Baby


The dwarves and Emmilia are knocked back from the force of the explosion and area is now in flames while the revenants seem to be burning brighter than before.

Most noticeably, the barrier is gone, presumably from the force of the explosion.
Several of the bandits seem to have perished from the explosion, however 8 are still moving, having taken some damage from the explosion, but were protected by the muddy waters.

Suddenly, 3 tendrils of muddy water burst up from the muddy area, raising 1 of the surviving bandits up a couple feet before he slides off and drops back into the water.

If there are still tentacles in the water do this: she tries to gather more water into one of them to create a giant one in the middle of the bandit group.

If there are no more tentacles in the water: As she stands up she turns to Maggyk Man. "Going to need you help for this one, lets create a large sinkhole in the ground around the bandits." She starts casting the spell to create the hole in the ground if maggyk man helps.

OOC: forgot to address Erghun-Rho's thing.

Erghun-Rho goes down the stairs to the back room and finds the gnome and human driver digging through some cabinets.
"Yeah, there's lots of oil in this cabinet," the human driver remarks.

Rho retrieves what oil he can hold in his arms and hurries back to the roof.

Mistah Magyyk Man gives Miss Magyyk Marm all the help she can get, up close and personal.

Tentacoel
MA: 5 (5-1(massive cast of mixed elements)+1(co-casting))

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Other

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Rho reappears on the roof holding 8 bottles of cooking oil.
The Magyyk Man gives Emmilia a big hug, causing her to feel a surge of magical energy.
The brown gloopy tendrils of mud converge into a single thicc tendril, drawing even more us from the pool below it. For a moment it almost looks like it was becoming shaped like a phallus.
One of the bandits casts several extreme bursts of wind, extinguishing 2 of the fire revenants.
Several of the bandits run into the cabin.

Rho quickly rigs together oil molotov's using the bottles and tattered rags at the ends of his wrappings. He lights the ends of each oil molotov with a small flame and lobs them all at once onto the bandits.

[Given his race he does not need to be careful with the burning ends of the molotovs. Haphazardly lighting, carrying and chucking the molotovs helps hasten his actions even if he is burned in the process.]

Emmilia gets in a meditative stance to directly control the water tentacle and ,wills it to attack the bandits who haven't entered the building by laying a suppressing fire of water bullets.

"Kihihihi! You can't ignore my girth! Er, I mean our girth," Mistah Magyyk Man amends, keeping a tight hold on Emmilia and the Magyyk. "It's so big though, I wonder if he can handle it?"

Bottle Toss
4 (4+1(dat height)-1(many bottles))

Water Ejaculation Bullets
4 (5+1(double caster)-1(really fast water)-1(liek a machine gun, boii))

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Erghun-Rho lobs his Molotovs at the bandits he can see.
As the glass bottles break on their bodies, the oil begins splashing all over their bodies. In a flash, the fire spreads, wreathing them in flame as they flail about.
The water phallus rears it's "head" and points towards the cabin at the bandits who have entered, shooting a flurry of water projectiles at intense speeds. You are unable to confirm how many bandits have been killed inside the cabin, however you know that 4 have entered and there was one loud thud coming from below followed by the sound of the door closing, blocking the water bullets for a time.

OOC: sorry for the massive pause before this post. had sum shiet to git dun.

(the suppressing fire was actually towards those who have not entered yet to prevent them from moving to the door, but ill take a few dead people if you don't wanna change it. and it's np real life happens.)

(my bad, I still fail at reading QQ, but I think this is the better outcome given that the bandits outside are all burning to death already)

(Well works for me)

As soon as the door closes, the water penis thrusts itself at the door to break it down and knock the bandits that ran inside off balance.

Erghun-Rho bolsters the flames consuming the flailing bandits to hasten their incineration.

Thrust:
MA: 6 (+1(dual casting))

Turn it up:
MA: 5

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As Emmilia and Rho cast their incantations, and the Magyyk an continues to embrace Emmilia, the group can hear the sound of many footsteps on the stairs. The gnome and human drivers emerge, running out towards you, but the sound of footsteps persist.
The flames on the bandits outside first  feet higher and go from a cherry red color to a deep orange, that burns with intensity, vastly increasing the rate at which the bandits' skin begin to turn charcoal black. The bandits attempt to run into the water penis and flail on the ground in the mud, but to no avail.
The phallic object of water thrusts through the door of the cabin. The footsteps from earlier now include the sound of dragging water. The dwarves unmount their crossbows and turn to face the stairs as 3 bandits; the one in the center is armed with a hammer while the two on either side of him wield spears. All 3 wear face masks so it is difficult to discern their facial features.

Rho knows this foul hammer wielder to be a wind-magic endowed caster, and believes him to be the one that snuffed out his revenants. He takes a cue from the sassy-bandit-ghost who earlier dispelled Emillia's spikes and directs any spirits available (those that would respond without excessive prompting) to swarm around and in the wind mage.

[He has no clue whether or not this will have an effect]

Mistah Magyyk Man gasps, jumping back and putting his hands where his belt would be, if he wore one. "ChrIst Almighty! It's the mercenary, the maskéd man!"
He leans forward, staring right into the hammer guy's eyes with a confident expression in an attempt to telepathically unnerve him.
"Don't kill them just yet. Get 'em on board, I'll call it in!"