Bullshit RPG: And I Would Walk 500 Miles; And I Would Walk 500 More

The trader puts his boxes onto the nets above the seats and sidesteps past the aisle seat under his luggage in order to reach and sit at the window seat.
"Man, These wagon-buses are so convenient and comfortable."
It seems that the man has spontaneously decided to drop his accent.

Emmilia, Erghun-Rho, and the Magyyk Man instinctively sit down as the wagon jostles and begins moving.
"I don't know about getting into the college of Mages, since they got a whole complicated process for admission; but one of their archmages likes to frequent my shop. I can introduce you, if you'd like."

"That would be wonderful. While I don't expect them to accept me, seeing if they have any theories as to how to return home would be a boon in of it self."

"Alright then, when we get to town, you can either follow me, or you can come to my shop whenever you're available. The name is Photon Camp. If I'm not there, I might be somewhere else. By the by, my name's Frank Frill. I don't think I've caught your's."

"Emmilia Joanric is my name. And again I do thank you for your help."

Mistah Magyyk Man stops dead at the mention of the merchant's name. "Frank...Frill?"

He hasn't heard that name in years.

Looking over the merchant, his face slowly contorts into an expression of utter astonishment as he prepares to speak again.
He clutches his head, his "skin" shifting to dark red with a floral pattern.
"hWOW, FURANKU!!!!" he exclaims, trembling with excitement. He rubs his hands together rapidly until the friction starts to generate heat.

The Magyyk Man leaps forward to embrace Frank Frill, as if greeting an old friend.
"Ah ha ha ha! It's me, Mistah Magyyk Man! How did you end up all the way over here, Franku?"

Frank turns towards the Magyyk Man, staring with a blank stare.
"eh, I don't know who you are."

"Just push him off, it would probably be easiest for you on the long run."

"Hahaha. Oh hohoheheha."
Frank laughs a hearty laugh.
"Unfortunately, I'm not an asshole. Hey, you guys wanna play some games? Not much else to do on this road trip unless you got something to talk about."

"I'll have to pass, I think I will just take a nap until we get there." She closes her eyes and tries to sleep.

Erghun-Rho sits quietly huddled up in his seat.

"It's k, it'd be too hard to explain anyhow." Mistah Magyyk Man hugs Frank regardless. "I like to play games, especially magyykal gaymes. You got any of those?"

"Don't got any magical games. The other stuff needs more people to play though."

Before she heads off to sleep she uses her life magic ability to sense if anyone is on board the coach besides the passengers and the drivers.

No one else is on board.

(dobberu-posting so ppl get notifications)

The 4 travelers sit on the train, minding their own business for about a day.
You all begin to feel slightly hungry after the long journey.
The landscape changes from the farmlands along a forested area, to a stream along a forested area, until you finally reach a clear grassland area along the same stream.
The wagon gets closer and closer to a well constructed, medium-sized cabin with a garage-like tunnel. The wagon enters the tunnel and you hear a familiar chime and the human driver's voice shortly after.
"Welcome to the Red-Line rest stop. Please disembark and take it easy at our rest facility while we perform some maintenance on our wagon-bus. We have some complimentary snacks and water inside, as well as fine meals and spirits available for purchase."

Frank begins to get up to walk out of the bus.

Erghun-Rho stretches out from his fetal position sitting. Audible cracks resound from his joints as he wanders a small way from the magic school bus. Behind several trees he loosens his face wrappings to cough away the built up ash.

As she gets out of the wagon she stretches and heads to the cabin where there is food.

@Darkgenesis
Thar b no wuds, mayne, iz da grasslands.

Emmilia goes in to find a medium room with many tables and seats. On the side, there is a long table with barrels with spigots, of which she can assume contain water, as well as bowls of dried salted meat shavings. Across the room, opposite of the door, is a counter that is occupied by a dwarf who looks to be in charge of the area.

Erghun-Rho realizes he is in grasslands and wanders through a dense patch of grass over a hill, doing all the things he thought he was doing before.

"Aw yis, it's food time." Mistah Magyyk Man gets off the wagon and waddles over to the cabin, where he opens a water spigot directly into his mouth for MAXIMUM hydration. He grabs some meat shavings and goes to the counter. "hey," he asks the dwarf, "got any grapes?"

She tastes a piece of the meat shavings to see what kind of meat it is.

(little bit of a funny off topic, but @InteroVegas, I have that same mtg card irl)

Erghun-Rho doesn't seem to find any wayward spirits at his position, but he can feel something a bit farther away.

The dwarf goes through a door behind the counter and comes back after about 30 seconds carrying a bowl of grapes.
"That'll be 2 tris."

Emmilia examines the meat shavings and finds that it seems to be pieces of beef and pork.

"I am not paying for you, Magyyk Man." She turns her attention to the Dwarf. "Pardon me, but would you happen to have any chicken breast and honey?"

The dwarf once again goes to the back room and promptly returns with a plate containing half a chicken breast in one hand while holding a small cup of honey in the other.
"That'll be 3 tris for the chicken and 3 tris for the honey."

She hands him ten tris. "Thank you sir." She heads to a table and starts eating her chicken, dipping pieces of it in the honey for extra flavor.

The dwarf reaches out a hand as Emmilia turns her back, but he's too late.
She isn't able to see him. Senpai will never notice him.
"eh, u want your change?"

She looks back at him confused. "You don't take tips in this world?"

"ok, I'll take it then."
The dwarf kind of just stands there eyeing the Magyyk Man, holding out a hand as if to ask for money.

"Wow, I didn't expect you to actually have grapes," Magyyk Man remarks, "I want some crackers too, and cheese."

the dwarf simply beckons with his fingers, maintaining his position.

"Why don't you just have him work for the grapes if he doesn't want to pay?" She chimes in helpfully as she munches on her chicken.

Mistah Magyyk Man makes an exasperated sigh. "How about I show you a trick instead? And you do have crackers and cheese, right?"

Erghun-Rho follows in the direction of this "something".

She hands the dwarf 4 tris so the Magyyk Man doesn't end up in jail because of one of his 'tricks' then goes back to eating her food.

Erghun-Rho spots a wayward spirit on top of a small hill; it's close enough that you can easily reach it, but far enough away that you can't quite make out all the details.

The dwarf pushes Emmilia's hand with the 4 tris away.
"If you want to pay for him, we can just take it out of the earlier tip. Just assumed you didn't want me to mistake your tip for his payment."

She still hands him the money. "That was your tip, this is so I won't have a repeat for his last 'trick' where he shoved a pole up a man's anus, so please take it."

"You've got it all wrong, Miss Magyyk Marm, that wasn't my last trick." Mistah Magyyk Man whines. "it was more like my second to last...or third to last..."
"But good thinking there, wouldn't want to mix up 'tips', heh heh heh. Will that be enough for the cheese and crackers too, Mistah Dwarf Man?"

Erghun-Rho walks towards the spirit. He makes no threatening gestures nor loud call outs.

The dwarf goes behind the door once more and hands the Magyyk Man a plate with some cheese blocks and slices of bread.
"Not sure what these 'crackers' are, but I'm sure bread is fine, no?"

As Erghun-Rho gets closer, he notices that the spirit has already noticed him. It's a woman wearing a long coat over mismatching clothing and fingerless gloves. She has holds her hands by her hips in a triumphant stance and stares at Erghun-Rho as though expecting him to say something.

Erghun-Rho waves out with both hands making a shooing motion, curious to see if the spirit will flee from communication with the living. If the spirit is unphased by his objectively silly shaking he continues on:

"O unkindled soul! Do you seek passionate release?!"

"release? if yer talking about fucking, I'm not do'n it with you."

The woman takes her eyes off of Erghun-Rho and looks to the rest-stop.
"Today's the day, we'll finally raid this rest-stop and get rich off of Abserrum's shit."

Erghun-Rho stammers: "W-we? There are no physical riches that can *cough* endow you with peace in yoour current state o unkindled soul."

"It's...IT'S JUST NOT THE SAME, MAYNE!" Mistah Magyyk Man's hands shake as he shreds the bread into bits over his mouth. He stuffs the grapes into his pack for later use, then balances a stack of cheese blocks atop his head. "I'll be noting your...mmf...poor selection of foodstocks on Yelp....mmf..."

@Corenat Rovarnus
"eh, no idea what yelp is, but go ahead. Do what you want."

@InteroVegas
"Stop call'n me a soul. What're you, some sort of missionary? I'm not joining yer religion."

Erghun-Rho shakes his head an a single rivulet of scalding salt water forms at the corner of his eye. He clenches his staff tight in his hand and looks up at the confused spirit with a genuine sense of pity.

"O unkindled soul, your essence is faded and what floats before me is yet another wayward spirit needing release. Be still and I will grant you invigoration for a final time!"

Erghun-Rho concentrates his burning spirit in an attempt conjure a massive and unruly blade with flesh of fire extending several meters in length from his staff.

"Nnnnrgmgfnf!!" Mistah Magyyk Man is increasingly distressed at the apparent apathetic attitude of this establishment, turning somewhat yellow.
"Who's in charge of this place, Mistah Dwarf Man? I'd like to speak to your manager."

big fire stick

Magic Affinity: 4 (5 - 1 (BIG controlled fire))

The member 'The Lord Kelvin' has done the following action : Dice Roll\'d

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'normal' :

@InteroVegas
As Erghun-Rho holds out his staff and concentrates on it, the ghost-woman gets into a defensive stance. After a moment both parties find that... nothing's happened.
The spirit assumes a more relaxed stance.
"Wish away, weird man. Yer stick ain't gonna get bigger."

@Corenat Rovarnus
The dwarf stands behind the counter, remaining stoic and apathetic.
"eh, my boss is in Abserrum. My partner works the night shift, and we're the only 2 here. I'm just trying to get paid man."