Bullshit RPG: And I Would Walk 500 Miles; And I Would Walk 500 More

"Nnyerrg, I knew it! Motherfukken...filthy franchises!" Mistah Magyyk Man makes continued agitated movements, taking care to keep the cheese tower stable. He goes outside to see what the wagon crew is doing.

Erghun recoils at his failures. ("To fail here ... my resolve ..."). He glares down at his aged exorcist staff and observes the scorch marks and nicks from the tribulations he and his weapon have endured. He resigns himself to an ugly and drawn out exorcism. This time he focuses his burning spirit in an effort to only enchant his trusted staff with an aura of his soul scorching fire.

[If he succeeds he proceeds with saying the following.]

"Unkindled soul! Speak of why you linger here upon this grass mounted hill."

standard fire stick
Magic Affinity: 5

The member 'The Lord Kelvin' has done the following action : Dice Roll\'d

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'normal' :

@InteroVegas
Erghun-Rho's staff lights aflame at each tip. Slowly, the flames flow towards the center of the staff, as though they are liquid, flowing down a slightly tilted surface. The flames engulf the entire staff except for the portion on which Erghun-Rho holds it in his hands. Interestingly enough, the flames don't seem to be feeding off the staff and it remains completely intact inside the flames.
"Unkindled soul! speak of why you linger here upon this grass mounted hill."

The woman nods in an understanding fashion.
"So that's what you were trying to do with yer stick."

She begins running towards the opposite side of the grassy hill.
"I don't want no part in whatever religion you're pushing."

@Corenat Rovarnus
Upon opening the exit, you notice the gnome driver walking towards the dining area.
"ayy, we're done with maintenance. Just gonna grab some grub and we'll be on our way soon."

The Magyyk Man also notices a single faint splash of water.

Erghun-Rho runs wildly at the woman trying to deliver a blow that would set this lost spirit aflame. As he runs, parts of his wrappings come undone and small jets of fire erupt from his nostrils forming a magnificent handlebar moustache of flame.

"THIS IS NOT FAITH. THIS IS RELEASE!"

A clue! Mistah Magyyk Man creeps on the splash super hard, to figure out the circumstances surrounding it.

@InteroVegas
As Erghun-Rho runs towards the other end of the hill, he spots a large crowd of what seems to be ~20 bandits. They are all wearing similarly mismatched clothing as the ghost-woman.
One of the bandits spots the bandaged man running towards them.
"Oi, dey're on to us. Git'm 'fore he goes back."
The bandits draw out some hammers and spears before they begin running up the hill.
"Mah boiz gon take care of you now," the ghost woman states as she continues running towards the bandits.

@Corenat Rovarnus
The Magyyk Man follows the sound of the splish sploosh splashing until he comes to a door with "wash closet" etched into the door' wood. You notice that several doors down the corridor you've stumbled across bear the same label as the one before you. You hear a big splash before a long satisfied moan from a male voice that you recognize to be that of Frank Frill.

[Assuming the other 20 bandits are flesh people and not ghost people]

Erghun-Rho yelps in his echoing channeling voice and immediately turns tail to sprint towards the cabin (or jog quickly if we're really far). In desperation he beckons fire to leap from the arches of his feet and into fully formed puddles of fire with every several steps he takes.

[Erghun-Rho is attempting to leave a moderate trail of fire behind him, enough to hinder his assailants but nothing so grand that would completely stop them from following.]

Despite fearing for his life he yells:
"MY DUTY WILL BE COMPLETED. I SHALL DELIVER YOU FROM YOUR DEMENTED STATE O UNKINDLED SOULLLLLL....."

Mistah Magyyk Man's mouth slowly stretches into a smile. This investigation is really activating his almonds.
He takes the cheese tower down to save it for later. He stealthily presses himself up against the door of the room that Frank is in and peeps through the biggest crack or opening he can find, to see what Frank could possibly be up to that could provide such satisfaction.

Finishing her meal she stretches for a moment and heads outside to wander around until the wagon is fixed.y

flames on da grouuuuunnnnddd.... I'm not a part of this system...... maaaaaaaaan
Magic Affinity: 5

The member 'The Lord Kelvin' has done the following action : Dice Roll\'d

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'normal' :

@InteroVegas
As Erghun-Rho runs back to the cabin, he leaves a path of small fires behind him. The bandits chasing him are too preoccupied avoiding the fires to run at full speed and catch up to him. You are able to see the cabin at a distance as you descend from the hill, back the way you came.

@Corenat Rovarnus
The Magyyk Man peeps through a small keyhole in the door and sees frank with his pants down sitting on some sort of bowl as he drops dookies like there's no tomorrow.. It doesn't look like a conventional toilet, and doesn't seem to work as such either. It's surprising how little it stinks despite the massive flow of crap that Frank seems to be excreting.

@kaede
As Emmilia reaches the exit door and reaches for the handle, she notices that the handle seems to be retreating beyond her reach. As she reaches further to attempt to grasp the handle, it only further goes beyond her reach.  Suddenly she hears a familiar voice. It's the gnome.

"Oh, sorry about that. It's a bit awkward when people try to enter and exit a door at the same time. Anyways, just gonna grab some grub and we'll be outa here. After you.'
As the gnome steps to the side to allow Emmilia to pass by, Emmilia notices that there seems to be smoke in the distance atop a hill a distance away.

She bows her head to the gnome. "I thank you sir." seeing the fire after she exits she heads towards it, when she sees the bandaged man running towards the building she stops. "What happened, what is going on?"

Erghun-Rho continues rushing headlong with mildly flaming staff in hand. As he sprints he motions with he repeatedly points in the direction of the cabin. At the initial distance his raspy yells can barely be heard but he does not falter to deliver the message. Finally when he is in audible yelling distance the others can hear him yell.

"FLESH THUUGS! TTHIEVES! TIS TWO SCORE BANDITMEN BE ON YONDER HILL!"

[He continues running to the cabin, presumably to seek shelter from the hammers.]

After the bandaged man passes her she uses her magic to create a large amount of spikes protrude from the earth to slow them down even further.

spiked lemonade flooring
Magic Affinity: 5

The member 'The Lord Kelvin' has done the following action : Dice Roll\'d

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'normal' :

Emmilia channels her energy through her staff and spikes begin to protrude in areas not covered by the flames Erghun-Rho has been leaving behind, creating an area of extremely to pass terrain. Emmilia hears a whistle in the wind as 3 bolts fly past her and into the skull of one raider, the chest of the one directly to the left of the one suffering from obtrusive cranial insertion, and the thigh of the raider to that one's left. The dwarf that had previously been at the counter now stands beside Emmilia at the doorway.
"Oi, get back. We're gonna enter lockdown."

The human driver quickly hops off the wagon-bus and begins running in the direction of the wash closet hallway.

She runs back to the station and closes the door behind her.

Erghun-Rho retreats to safety and ceases to track fire in his wake as he reaches the others.Between his huffing, wheezing, and spewing out bits of ash and powdery coal substances he asks:

"Where, *cough* where do you bury those that pass on here? Perhaps even the resting place of a *cough* once beloved beastial companion"

It dawns on the exorcist a fresh soul has just been added to the mix, one bandit with a bolt firmly embedded in his lawless skull. Erghun-Rho dives to a safe corner in the cabin and immediately tosses out two sprigs of herbs smears a black powder produced from beneath his wrappings in a circle. He sits cross legged and sways gently as he chants almost silently beneath his breath. In what seems like moments Erghun-Rho's mind straddles the boundary of the physical and metaphysical. The numbing cold of this space between spaces creeps at the edge of his being. ("Cannot falter ... must press on...). He focuses himself and pushes that deathly cold from perception. Now he peers into this unearthly space and beckons the fresh dead to come to him, to the welcoming presence of his makeshift shrine.

[How long this all takes is up to you]

The gnome gives Erghun-Rho a strange glance when he asks about burial ground locations.
As soon as Emmilia closes the door, a sheen of transparent energy pulses up the walls of the building.
The dwarf begins making his way to the door behind the counter.
"Come with me. We'll keep you safe in the back room while dealing with the situation. If you're interested in helping, I'll be going up to the roof after waking my coworker."

Erghun-Rho senses that the spirit of the freshly killed bandit is in a state of confusion after having been so recently separated from its mortal coil. It is confused and Erghun-Rho may be able to lure it towards him, though it will take a lot of his concentration (basically, you can either do this now or move with the group first).

The gnome begins to follow the dwarf before speaking out in a concerned voice.
"Hey, what happened to that weird Magyyk guy and the trader?"

@Corenat Rovarnus
The human driver runs through into the wash closet area, panting heavily, just before a transparent sheen pulses over the corridor's entrance behind him.
"Oh, hey. You're safe. That's good."

Erghun-Rho hears stifled noise echo through the nether around him and consciously chooses to focus on the task at hand. If he can just get the spirit a little closer he may be able to temporarily send it into a magnificent flaming rampage tearing through several of these bandits.

She heads to the roof to see how far the bandits have gotten, and if they are near her earth spikes.

Mistah Magyyk Man strikes a nonchalant pose, his hands behind his back. "Aw, you cared enough to come over and check on me. W-w-w-what's going on?"

go to the light

The member 'The Lord Kelvin' has done the following action : Dice Roll\'d

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#1 'threeface' : 3

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#2 'Coin' : 1

Erghun-Rho senses that the fresh spirit seems to be indifferent to his calls. Perhaps he is too dazed from having to adjust from death to understand the calls. Maybe if Erghun-Rho continues, the spirit will follow, or perhaps the spirit will come to its senses and refuse the call. You are completely unaware of your surroundings at the moment.

Emmilia follows the dwarf through the back door, revealing a stockroom/kitchen with various supplies and foodstuffs. Going to the next room past it reveals 2 beds (1 empty while a dwarf sleeps in the other) and a set of stairs that lead to the roof. While the dwarf and gnome work on waking the other dwarf, Emmilia quickly goes up the stairs and to the roof to find that the traps set by Erghun-Rho and herself have been blown through by some force of nature. It seems almost like a small tornado has gone through, creating a path for the bandits to cross (which they are currently doing).

@Corenat Rovarnus
The driver walks past the Magyyk Man towards the end of the corridor.
"We gotta get to a more defensible position. We've got troublemakers attacking again. They just see these rest stops as easy to rob stockhouses. That may have been true in the past, but we've made improvements since the initial attacks."

You hear Frank's muffled voice from the wash closet.
"Oh, hey. Wait for me, I'm nearly done."

Ducking behind cover, she focuses again and tries to create a wall of spikes in front of their path again.

Erghun-Rho continues unabated. In the instant the spirit turns its metaphysical essence towards him he will attempt to light it on fire and send it on a rampage.

[Am I supposed to bold font my trait like rippling thighs?]

Magyyk Man follows the driver. "Wow! What sort of improvements?"

spikes & spirits

Magic Affinity: 4 (5-1(defensive casting/obscured vision behind cover))

The member 'The Lord Kelvin' has done the following action : Dice Roll\'d

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#1 'normal' :


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#2 'threeface' : 1

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#3 'Coin' : 2

OOC: you don't need to use special text to communicate your traits. I'll try my best to accomodate for them even when u aren't actively trying to use them. Though, it's a good reminder for me if I forget or something.

@kaede
Emmilia ducks behind the cover of the roof and tries to raise some spikes in front of the bandits, but she ends up raising them on the opposite side of the cabin where no one is. The two dwarves appear from the stairs and begin running towards the two roof corners on the side facing the bandits.

@InteroVegas
The spirit you are attempting to beckon suddenly snaps its head in your direction. It begins moving towards your location in a daze, though it isn't able to completely understand your commands and obey your order until it gets within earshot (which is a bit closer than usual given the large mob outside).
Your focus returns to normal and you find that you are alone in the dining area with bandits quickly approaching the entrance/exit door and the back room door open where the gnome driver beckons to you "get over here, ya dingus. It's not safe there."

@Corenat Rovarnus
The human driver fiddles with a bit of the wall at the end of the corridor and suddenly the wall at the end begins shifting. Bits of the wall protrude outwards, forming the shape of a ladder.
"There's this convenient roof escape, for instance; as well as the barrier you can see shimmering around the cabin."

Frank bursts out of the wash closet with a bit of soft paper trailing off his right boot.
"What'd I miss? We getting attacked again?"

She dismisses the spikes and peeks over, using her magic to raise a spiked wall in their path instead.

Erghun-Rho scrambles to his feet. He looks in the direction of the spirits presence in the physical world. To his disappointment he finds walls and clamoring flesh-gheists obstructing any path his emancipating flames would use to vivify the spirit. He resigns himself to following the gnome to the supposed safety of this back room for now. He slinks into the back room and spots the access to the roof. He ascends, hoping he will be able to see the beckoned spirit from this loftier position.

dem walls

The member 'The Lord Kelvin' has done the following action : Dice Roll\'d

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'normal' :

A spiked wall forms up between the bandits and the cabin.
It's hard to see behind the wall, but something seems to impact the wall heavily, causing it to crack in the middle. The wall still stands, but it seems like it won't withstand another blow.
The two dwarves fiddle with the roof corners, producing mounted crossbows that seem to have a self reloading mechanism.
"Oh man, seems like they've gotten tougher this time. Not sure our barrier can withstand too many hits like that."
Erghun-Rho quickly works his way up to the roof and can see the ghost of the dead bandit floating up the side of the building. It is now within earshot.

Using her control over the wall, she wills the spikes protruding from the wall to shoot from and towards the bandits.

[Assuming I succeed on making a small fire in my hand]

Erghun-Rho nears the spirit and conjures a small fire to the palm of his hand. He reaches out to the spirit with fire in hand and says:

"Be cooold no mmore, take the embrace of fire and spread its joys to your comraddes below!"

"Wow, Franku! And so much magicks, too!" Mistah Magyyk Man looks over the now changed wall, trying to figure out what the driver did.
"This is so grooooovvyyy. Did you guys do this all by yourselves?"

Spike Projectiles
3 (5-1(can't see where the spikes are from your angle)-1(multiple precision ejections))

The member 'The Lord Kelvin' has done the following action : Dice Roll\'d

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'normal' :

dem flames
Magic Affinity 5

The member 'The Lord Kelvin' has done the following action : Dice Roll\'d

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'normal' :

The spikes from the wall shoot off at the bandits.
You aren't able to clearly see the damage from where you all are viewing the carnage.

Where Erghun-Rho had kindled a small flame from his palm, a massive flame erupts, taking the shape of a human on fire.
Only Erghun-Rho was able to see the bandit ghost take a bit of the flame from Erghun-Rho's hand and wash it over his face, instantly engulfing him with flame.

Another large blow seems to have struck the wall, revealing 15 bandits still standing, led by one holding a hammer that has a drill of wind encompassing it. They resume charging the cabin and reach the barrier. The dwarves also begin to fire the mounted crossbows at the rabble below them.

@Corenat Rovarnus
"I'm not really sure how most of this works. The dwarves and gnomes collaborated to create these contraptions and make them user friendly for all our employees."
The human driver climbs the ladder.

Frank will cut by and climb the ladder if the Magyyk Man does not.

Erghun-Rho steps back towards the center of the roof away from the sight of the attacking flesh-gheists down below. He continuously motions his staff to and fro to carefully bring the flaming revenant before him. As he tends to it like a sculptor to clay on potter's wheel he addresses the others.

"*cough* *COUGH* Any hand without purpose in this fight, bring any lifeblood of fire hither! We ought apply the brilliance of their comrades kindled soul to their skins, release them and send them off to beyond together! I implore you to move with haste, his inner fire cannot be maintained indefinitely!"

She takes out her staff, stands up facing the bandits and tries to make the ground in front of them muddy with her powers over earth and water.