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Bullshit RPG: Farm Boizzzz

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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-09-20, 18:16

As you walk around the town, you're noticing an assortment of nonhumans like orcs, lizardmen, and elves tending to the farmlands; you notice that there don't seem to be that many humans around. Most of the beings you pass by either don't meet your gaze or eye you suspiciously. Some whisper to each other while most just work as though they don't notice you.
You pass by several houses and notice the town center in front of you. There's also a couple trading posts, one labelled as "market" and another marked as "general goods".
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Post by kaede on 2017-09-20, 19:27

Emmilia checks her pack for the money she had on her when she was traveling home. While no longer good here, it was still gold and silver pieces that could be sold to make some money back.
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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-09-20, 20:15

She checks but is hazy about what she was doing on her way back home.
She believes that she was doing something with her friends, but can't quite remember what.
She finds a single piece of gold and two silver pieces.
Damn, must've been happy hour. They were supposed to pay you back, too.
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Post by kaede on 2017-09-20, 20:22

Frowning slightly at the thoughts of the other night she mumbles under her breath. "Damn bastards, this is why I don't drink." She looks around for either a metal smith or pawn shop.
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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-09-20, 20:36

There is no metal smith or anvil in sight. The trade post labelled as "general" seems to have bits of odds and ends around.
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Post by InteroVegas on 2017-09-20, 20:44

The bandaged man makes no effort to hide himself but creeps closely behind Emilia. He produces his staff and carefully taps her on the shoulder.

"In all short flows *cough* the armored-flesh-gheists will return. Unless you have the key and intention *cough* to shepherd them onwards you ought leave this slave-shire bright-lady. I can be of service in hastening your erraaaands."
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Post by kaede on 2017-09-20, 21:14

She peruses the shops looking for dyes, specifically black, brown or dull yellow dyes without sparing the bandaged man a glance she replies. "I am not of this land, I have no right to lead anyone here. Besides I doubt they would listen to a human if the stares I have been getting is any indication of." As she talks she idly twirls a strand of her hair around her finger, a frown on her face as she thinks of having to change the hair she is so proud of.
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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-09-20, 21:34

Emmilia is unable to find any hair dyes. There are, however, fabric dyes of those colors.
They may or may not work for hair depending on the composition of the contents.
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Post by kaede on 2017-09-20, 21:43

She grabs a black hair dye then begins looking for a set of apothecary tools to dilute the strength of the fabric dye to be used for hair.
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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-09-20, 21:55

Though not all are necessary for diluting the dye, Emmilia is able to find various items that may be used in an apothecary kit.
There is a mortar & pestle, various bowls, cups, and jars of different sizes, knives, tweezers, and tongs.

The human male running the post asks:
"Le'me know if ya need help, missy."
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Post by kaede on 2017-09-20, 22:03

"Actually yes I was wondering is there any place in town I could sell this?" She presents a silver ring with a snake in the center made of a white stone(You never gave a description of the signet ring you said i had, so i filled in a few details)
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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-09-20, 22:20

"WOT!?!?!? Yer plan'n on selling yer noble house ring thing?"
The shopkeeper squints and eyes you warily for a bit, but seems to calm down.

"I was think'n ya stole dat off sum noble, but you look like yer a real noble. Ain't no common folk look like you. I could buy it off ya for a pretty price. Other than 'ere, you might be able to sell it to someone else, but I can't think 'o why dey would wont it. Seems most 'o us are at the town center right now."
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Post by kaede on 2017-09-20, 22:25

"How much exactly is a pretty price?"
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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-09-20, 22:29

The man ponders while rubbing his chin.
"Lessay.... 750 tris."
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Post by kaede on 2017-09-20, 22:35

She thinks for a moment before answering. "I will be back in a little bit, need to go do a little more shopping. in the mean time." She places the apothecary kit she made up and the black dye on the counter and holds up her gold and two silver pieces. "Would these cover the expenses for these items?"
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Post by InteroVegas on 2017-09-20, 22:49

The bandaged man hunches down to Emmilia and tries to explain to her.

"Any that are not human are treated *cough* as less in this land. What more, to them *cough**cough* your stride illuminates your nobility laddyy misssses. Your sort oft dwell in the castle-shire and hoard grand sums of thinker's leaf. The light-knowledge is that in fact it expected and required of us to respect your wishes and demandss. If you are searching for common kin look to the castle-shire for any who would desire your ring."
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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-09-20, 23:17

"Ye, das fine. 'eres sum change."
In addition to the items, the shopkeeper gives you 2 square leatherpatches the size of your palm. Each is stamped in blue ink with what seems to be a regal emblem and labelled 50.

The shopkeeper also remarks.
"I see you've taken that thing off our hands as well."
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Post by kaede on 2017-09-20, 23:27

For now she ignores the bandaged mans words and focuses on the shopkeep as she puts away , what she can only assume is money, in her pack. "What is this thing you talk about?"
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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-09-20, 23:35

The shopkeeper points at the bandaged man.
"It's been noth'n but bad luck, but maybe e'll be useful to you."


Last edited by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-09-21, 00:04; edited 1 time in total
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Post by kaede on 2017-09-20, 23:49

"Well you know what they say bad luck is better than no luck." Finishing that she looks around for a weapon shop. "Unfortunately that seems to be the case with nobles wherever you are no matter the world you are on it seems...though it is odd to me that you say non humans are treated as poorly here. Where I'm from they are at least given the same opportunities as a human."


Last edited by kaede on 2017-09-21, 00:06; edited 1 time in total
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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-09-21, 00:04

(sorry, edited previous post. it's "bad luck" not "but but luck")
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Post by kaede on 2017-09-21, 00:06

(I know, just making a joke because of the typo, did edit my post though)
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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-09-21, 00:30

"I've gotta be honest wit ya, missy. Dat don't sit right wit me either. Dat's why I've decided to trade instead, ya see? if us folk lose our farmhands, we'll 'ave noth'n. Dere's no way we'd be able to pay the outrageous taxes dem noble folk've set. Now dey wanna take away our livelihoods, dere ain't no way we can sit back and let dat happen."
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Post by kaede on 2017-09-21, 00:55

She shakes her head. "Foolish of them if you ask me. They all are sitting on a bunch of unstable alchemy ingredients and they are just flicking tindersticks around, eventually one of those sticks will hit something and blow up into a civil war."

(Btw did I see a weapon shop from here was looking around for one in my previous post.)
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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-09-21, 00:57

No weapon shop can be seen (my bad).

"Yeah. They'll get what's com'n. Anyways, anyth'n else I can help you with?"
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Post by kaede on 2017-09-21, 01:04

"Could you please point me in the direction of a weapon's shop? I'm going to be in need of a few implements for the road. Also does this town have a shop that sells ingredients that can be used in potion making?"
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Post by Corenat Rovarnus on 2017-09-21, 01:15

Mistah Magyyk Man goes to the "general goods" post and looks for anything that could be magyyk, or better yet, Thinker's Leaf.
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Post by InteroVegas on 2017-09-21, 01:31

The bandaged man gives a barely audible mutter "... weeks of herbs ... just by the boards ..." as he is distracted by Magyk Man's entrance. He approaches the colorful stranger and gives a question.

"Your other-flesh-gheist folllllows a flow of merrcantile pursuits but from missterr Pod's words strife comes and great release will ensue. *cough* The humans will never choose us. My lot is best appended to another world stranger. There is aaaaa sstrong *cough* undercurrent about you, and it may let me commence my peeeeople's yearly ritual."
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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-09-21, 01:44

The shopkeeper ignores the bandaged man and the Magyyk Man's conversation.
"We don't have weapons or any 'o dem rare ingredients. Got sum common herbs, but dey won't do too much fo ya. I think that's da topic dey discuss'n in da town center, actually."
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Post by kaede on 2017-09-21, 02:03

She sighs, though keeps in mind what the bandaged man says. "Well so much for that idea." She takes out her ring again. "I guess I will sell you my ring if you are still interested in it."
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Post by InteroVegas on 2017-09-21, 05:00

The bandaged man beckons for the magical fellow to follow. He goes off in search of a non-human acquaintance that has a spare moment to fill in the new world-stranger on the circumstances of this fiefdom, and to spread word that the knights have been provoked and will undoubtedly return to quell the human peasants and further subjugate the non-human slaves of the village.
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Post by Corenat Rovarnus on 2017-09-21, 13:27

In response to the bandage man's invitation, Mistah Magyyk Man jumps up while clapping his hands excitedly. "Oooh, a ritual! Sounds like fun." He eagerly bounds alongside his new companion. "What kinda ritual is it? Does it have...magyyks?"
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Post by InteroVegas on 2017-09-21, 14:44

Bandaged man nods.

"It is abundant with magyyyk ... Missterr ... what do I call you?"
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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-09-21, 18:10

The shopkeeper puts 7 square leather patches with a purple stamp, labelled 100 and 1 of square patch with a blue stamp labelled 50 onto the table, holding his hand over the leather pieces.
He the reaches out with his other hand.
"Alright, lets get're dun."

The bandaged man attempts to approach the other non-humans, but they all skirt away from him. Finally he is able to approach one without them distancing themselves (mostly because they're preoccupied and didn't notice the bandaged man approaching). It's an elf male that seems to be middle aged.
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Post by Corenat Rovarnus on 2017-09-21, 18:27

"Brllblb!!!" He shakes his head rapidly as if to regain his bearings, then makes a grand gesture.
"Ah, in all the commotion I forgot to introduce myself. I am the one and only MISTAH MAGYYK MAN, of the MorphSuit Clade! I traverse the realms seeking the dankest magyyks and the firmest fleshbags." He brings a palm up in a milking motion. After a few repetitions of this he seems to space out. "Yess.....Oahhhhhh...uh, where was I? Right, it would be delightful to accompany you in touring this realm and experiencing its...wonders."
He steps in closer and speaks with a lower voice.
"Also, and this is just between you and me, but I also have a bit of a human fetish."
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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-09-21, 18:40

The elf seems to be super preoccupied and doesn't notice the Magyyk or bandaged man, and it doesn't seem like he will until you physically touch him.
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Post by kaede on 2017-09-21, 19:18

She takes one last look at the ring before handing the ring over to the man and taking the money and placing it in her pack. "Do hope that ring serves you well." She heads back to the house she came from and begins working on diluting the strength of the black dye she bought using water magic & her apothecary skills.
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Post by InteroVegas on 2017-09-21, 19:34

The bandaged man's pearly black orbs flit between Magyk Man and the elf. He props himself up on his staff and turns his bandage clad face to Magyk Man.

"Iii am *co-*cough* Erghun-Rho annnnnd I am a shepherd of gheists."

He stretches out with one lanky arm to gently tap at the elf's shoulder.

"*COUGH* *COUGH* ahem, *cough* I *cough* ... the 'nights' were provoooked. They will come to make examples of the humans. Chaos comes ... 'we' must be warned."
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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-09-21, 19:44

The elf turns and puts his hands to his mouth, as if to stifle his own urge to scream.
He takes a few deep breaths with his eyes wide open before settling down.
"It's you. No, please, not you. Why're you even here? Don't kill me, please. I'll give you whatever you want. p-p-p."

He begins crying in front of you.

Kaede, please continue on this thread:
https://churchofproz.forumotion.net/t1560-bullshit-rpg-shack-n-up#35179
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Post by InteroVegas on 2017-09-21, 20:25

Erhgun-Rho hunches down, tucking his staff away under his arm. He tries to manipulate the elf man's face into a neutral expression with his spindly fingers but has neither the dexterity nor mind controlling abilities to do so. After a failed effort to force the elf into a calmer state of mind he goes ahead anyways with his warning.

"The 'nights' are enr-*cough* enraaaged. The village peasant *cough* humans will be *cough* beaten and some evvven freed ..."

Erghun-Rho suddenly shoves the elf man. He crouches down to the elf man crowds the creature with his ghoulish frame.

"GO! TeEeELL THeEeEM!"

He yells at the elf just 4 inches from his face. The coverings over his mouth vibrate and rather than spit flying forth, several threads of his burka singe.
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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-09-21, 20:53

The elf runs away into the arms of a group of slaves nearby. They all stare at you.
You get the feeling that you aren't someone they'd listen to.
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Post by Corenat Rovarnus on 2017-09-21, 21:02

"Wow! Very good b0ss," Mistah Magyyk Man nods in approval. He has not seen very many beings exhibit this ability; to move others to such strong emotions, to tears even, with just a few garbled words.
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Post by InteroVegas on 2017-09-21, 22:00

Erghun-Rho rubs his fingers against his forehead in frustration.

"Thiis is aa *cough* struggle. To make tthhe ritual as gra-*cough*-nd as can be they mmust be inn a pack. Orrrr .... the conflict muust be *cough* centered near the ritual grounds."

He looks back to spot Emmilia but she has disappeared from sight. He asks Magyk Man.

"Cann yourr unit be *cough* of usse?"
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Post by Corenat Rovarnus on 2017-09-21, 23:05

"Hmm...yes, I'm sure once the people see the beauty of my magyyk they will surely go wherever we need! Where's the ritual grounds?"
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Post by InteroVegas on 2017-09-21, 23:13

"MMMmmmmMMmMmm ... weee need to understand the where the flow of conflict will erupt into carnage *cough*. Mayyybe we ought spy on those armored-flesh-gheists."
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Post by Corenat Rovarnus on 2017-09-22, 00:03

"Spuh-SPYING. One of Mistah Magyyk Mayn's favorite hobbies." He grins and curls up his arms near his chest like a dinosaur. "I already creeped on them once before. They're all metal plate mans, which sucks, everyone knows cloth is the best skin. Uhmwhfhh!!" He embraces himself.
"I think it's not actually their skin though, and underneath they are actually...humans. An old guy, and a couple ladies too." He licks his lips. "The leader man, what was his name? SUCC? No. Fucc? Well, he's kind of a fuccboi. Ah, Puck! Das it mane."

The Magyyk Man attempts to recall and relay any other relevant details on the armor mans from his previous observation, such as their numbers, weapons and any other equipment they may have had.

"Oh, Sir Payne said his boyz were gonna talk about it in the town center. Think they know anything we don't?"
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Post by InteroVegas on 2017-09-22, 00:22

Drawn by an invisible force only known to the gods themselves (i.e. plot) Erghun-Rho nods in agreement, lets out a cough that lets out another cinder and follows Magyk Man to the town center.
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Post by Corenat Rovarnus on 2017-09-22, 00:38

Mistah Magyyk Man figures out where the town center is and leads Erghun-Rho over. "Oh yeah, let's stick to peeping unless it's reeeally important. If the smallfolk get all weepy like that elf we probably won't get to hear anything juicy."

If he sees the townspeople gathering, he'll watch them from around a corner or some other nearby cover.
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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-09-22, 14:04

The Magyyk man and Erghun-Rho crouch behind a bush at the side of the town hall and open the window slightly so that they can hear the conversation going on.
For now, however, it seems that there is just a bunch of small talk concerning the free breakfast that was provided and how everyone's farms are doing.
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Post by Corenat Rovarnus on 2017-09-22, 19:30

"What the shit? Free breakfast? Fuck this, I'm going in!" Mistah Magyyk Man runs around to the door, pokes his head in and waves his hand. "ey b0ss, can i habe breakfast?"
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