Bullshit RPG: The Story Begins

The peasants shut up for a moment before one speaks up.
"Alright then. Wutcha wont, Missy?"

"Oh good, someone is there. Tell me how many of you are trapped?"

"we've twenty-fighve men. C'mon then, let's hear it. Wutcha wont?"

"Right, i will let nine of you go, but half of the people who leave will serve me as my agents, you will do things such as gather information, provide housing for me or my companions, and anything else that might be needed, barring combat. And before you snipe back, you all cannot go because if those knights find all of you gone they would most likely kill all of you, then go after your nearby village and raze it to the ground."

Mistah Magyyk Man clutches his stomach in alarm. "n-NANI?! What is this? Could it be....I'm pregnant?!"
He shakes his head. "No, no, it's the other thing... well, this won't last nearly as long."
A look of tense yet enthused anticipation comes over him. The Magyyk Man will hold "it" in for as long as possible, savoring each and every moment, for there is no other experience in this realm (and a couple others) that is quite like this one.

You hear laughter coming from the peasants.
"hah, yu hear wot she said? They're gonna burn their precious crop?"
"oh boy, they're going to kill us? what a surprise!"
"They won't miss almost half of us gone, not at all. Lah. Dee. Dah."

@Magyyk Man
You've gained a status effect, check your character sheet.

"Fine then, half of you but every single one who chooses to leave will accept the same offer. And by the by, if this offer is refused, I will simply go heal the guards of their ailments and we can all go to the city now."

(er, to clarify, the peasants are being sarcastic with the half thing. They are trying to say that the guards will notice 9 of them missing, which is a little less than half their group)

(Disregard that then, just got home when i posted that and was tired, was thinking of editing that anyway to something else)

She shrugs. "Fine than, four of you will be released but all will serve me and my associates as Agents."

"agents to do what exactly? And wots in it for da rest of us?"

"Go about your life for the most part, but if one of us comes knocking you will do the task we give to the best of your ability."

you hear silence
"... THE REST OF US"

"I can't guarantee anything. But with how the guards are currently, I don't see why you can't stage an attempt at escaping at night, especially if you lot agree to not kill any knights I might be inclined to make the wall when I remake it."

"How 'bout dis? You let our four youngest out since they've got the most life left to live, and you sweahruh to let us know how our families our doing e'ery once in a while? The four will do their best to be 'o service to ya."

Although they cannot see it, she nods at their words. "Agreed, I swear upon my life and my families honor that I will do as you ask.

She uses her magic to make a small part of the wall crumble away, enough that a person could crawl out of if they used digging tools on the soil beneath for a few moments to finish the hole.

Afterwards she chants a few words and channels some life magic along her right hand so that it glows softly.

The peasants work hard at digging through the wall for a few moments.
A young woman first crawls out of the hole and begins running towards the village. After taking a few steps, she stops and turns towards the rest of the peasants, but quickly turns back and runs again. Though you are unable to see her face, you notice that she seems to wipe her eyes as she runs.
Another young woman and 2 young men follow suite.

"OK, then. if you need anything from those four, knock on anyone's door and say that yer look'n to buy a seacucumber."

Having spasms at random intervals, Mistah Magyyk Man awkwardly sidles over to Emmilia. The beginnings of tears are forming in his eyes, which are surely tears of joy from seeing some young peasants being freed from their bondage.

"Th....that was a pretty good show, Miss Magyyk Marm. But what are you gonna do if the metal mans find out they escaped?"

She doesn't reply as she uses her abilities with earth magic to repair the wall and surrounding ground to erase tracks that might have been made by the fleeing villagers. "Do any of you have more requests from me?"

"Please don't get those four killed."

"You have my solemn word I will never let that come to pass. Were any of you injured in the fight with the knights? While I can't directly heal it now, I can at least try a few things to soothe the wounds."

You hear a metallic clanking, originating from in the woods, that gets louder and louder.
"Sounds like we don't have time for dat now, lass."

The Russian man hears the metallic clanking. Oh, how he wished he had gone with the knights when they were releasing turtle-heads.

"What's that noise?!"

She turns toward the clanking noise, hand near sword in case it is an enemy.

Mistah Maggyk Man gives Miss Magyyk Marm a mysterious wink, and stealthily creeps into the woods to see who's making the clanking.

you find the knights from before walking back.
They don't notice you as they seem to be feeling too relieved and mellow to notice much other than the obvious.

You also seem to be having more trouble keeping it in.

Mistah Magyyk Man breaks stealth and awkwardly waddles over to the knights. "M'sirs and.....m'ladies, I bear concerning news!" he whispers loudly to them, "I just witnessed m'lady Emmilia strike a deal with those dirt farmers; she let some of them escape scot-free and used her magyyks to cover up their tracks! Though I am her vassal, I can't help but feel this goes against the laws of this land."

"WHAT!?!? Why would someone of such a noble stature such as Lady Emmilia do such a thing!?!?"
The knights quickly return to the grasslands where they had battled the peasants earlier.
Puck walks up to Emmilia while the other knights check the trapped peasants.
"What happened here? Why would you let some of these filthy peasants- no... criminals- go free?"

The knights surrounding the peasants begin quickly questioning them.
"What'd you cretins do to the lady to make her free you?"
"You know this is going to end much more poorly for you all now, don't you?"

'I have done no such thing, and demand that you tell me where you have heard such slander and lies!"

persuasion

The member 'The Lord Kelvin' has done the following action : Dice Roll\'d

---

#1 'threeface' : 3

--------------------------------

#2 'Coin' : 2

Puck really doesn't believe you. He gestures towards the MAgyyk Mayne.
"Your trustworthy, but awkward vassal here told us of your betrayal. How could you do something like this? I thought you were a true lady of nobility. Were you on the criminals' side the entire time? Capturing them to gain our trust and serve as their agent?"

She genuinely looks puzzled at his words. "Vassal? I don't have any vassals, the head bi.. I mean lady of my house has forbade me from having Vassals due to the circumstances of my birth." She looks toward the walls that she made to contain the peasants. " And if I'm being honest, until you told me that I was in Lioneye, I had no idea where I was, I thought I was still in Sylvania so I had no idea why you were being attacked, I just did the right thing."

Mistah Magyyk Man reaches for something above his head only to stop halfway, as he realizes there is nothing there. "Oh, m'lady, disavowing me now will not do you any good," he remarks. "First the knights, and now me? Betrayal seems to be second nature for you." His face is scrunched up into a bizarre mixture vaguely conveying sorrow and anguish. "When will you realize it just doesn't pay?"

She turns to look at magyyk man a hint of amusement on her face. "Alright then "vassal" to prove that you are not just making this up entirely I propose this simple question: What is my fathers name and title? One who is in the service of the Ashwin family ,and not just lying for whatever reason, would be happy to answer."

While you are arguing with each other, the knights creep around and surround you (the whole gang, not any specific person).
The Magyyk Man notices that their hands seem kind of twitchy.

Ignoring the maggyk man for now, she turns her attention to Puck. "Tell me sir Puck, the land that I said I was from , Sylvania, is it one you recognise? If not, does the Heart of Gaia ring any bells?"

After she asks her question she returns focus to her glowing hand and prepares a mass cure ailments spell for the knights and Maggyk Mhan.

"Ah, this confirms it. You're one of those roamers. Unfortunately, that means your motivations are foreign to me. That makes you unpredictable and a risk to keep alive, especially under the current circumstansts."

Puck motions for the knights to attack.
The 10 knights (including Puck) slowly march towards the group with their swords and shields up.

Emmilia senses no ailments harming the knights, but is able to sense something ailing the Magyyk Man.
Magic Affinity: 5

The member 'The Lord Kelvin' has done the following action : Dice Roll\'d

---

'normal' :

Emmilia can cure the Magyyk Man whenever she feels fit to do so.

"Even if I willingly surrender myself? I have no ill will towards you or your men and would gladly turn myself in." She prepares a earth spell in case things turn for the worse.

The knights continue advancing, not giving any response.

You hear clamoring from the trapped villagers.
"Oi, let us out. We can help you."

Magic Affinity: 5

The member 'The Lord Kelvin' has done the following action : Dice Roll\'d

---

'normal' :

Spell prepared.

(sorry accidentally deleted instead of edit.)

She spares a glance towards the trapped peasants."Oh don't worry you all have helped enough." She returns her attention to the knights, Puck in particular. "This was going to be something I told you in private but you and your men leave me no choice. I did let four of these people go as a ruse to find these peasants families to set an example of, a tactic my family uses to great success. They even gave me instructions and a code word to use to find the four I released 'knock on any door and tell them you are looking to buy a seacucumber' was their exact words. As I said before I bear no ill will toward you, your men, or country I follow the laws of the land regardless if they are my own or not."

If they ignore her words and decide to continue forward she casts her prepared earth magic spell creates a spiked earth wall around her.

"Your dad's name is Count Phat Ass-win, cuz he got dat ass," Mistah Magyyk Man quips.
He eyes the approaching knights, a perverted grin crossing his face. "Oh my, I've never had this big of an audience before. nYesss, it's time for another show. All shall behold my magnificent MAGYYK!"
He clasps his hands together on the staff and squats, his skin displaying green and brown swirls. He makes a tight grimace as he speaks the magyyk wyrds:
His bowels imbued with elemental power, the Magyyk Man releases his "burden", along with a massive fart of poisonous gas which rapidly expands to envelope the area(a little beyond the circle of knights) in a thicc, noxious cloud.

Shat Gri La

Magic Affinity: 5

The member 'The Lord Kelvin' has done the following action : Dice Roll\'d

---

'normal' :

The knights continue forward and Emmilia erects a cylindrical wall around her, spikes protruding outwards.
SHAT
GRI
LA
Suddenly, a green-brown gas fills the area. After about 2 seconds, the knights begin falling to their knees and vomiting. Emmilia, Jose, and Nikkolai begin doing the same. They also feeling an intense churning in their bowels.
In addition, the Magyyk Man's pants are filled with his shit as he did not first pull down his pants.

The Magyyk Man laughs a mirthful, maniacal laugh as everyone is forced to endure his butt stench.
Then he feels the inside of his pants, and facepalms for neglecting such a simple detail.
"SHIT" he mutters, very appropriately.  But the show must go on.

He summons a little wind to blow part of the cloud in the direction of the peasant enclosure.
Humming a janky, off-kilter tune to himself, Mistah Magyyk Man breaks a spike off the wall and punts it into the nearest knight, then slips past both wall and knights to escape in the confusion.

Emmilia casts her prepared mass cure ailments on herself and everyone around her, then uses an earth spell to create a dome around the knights to protect them from the cloud, then finally using her control over her spiked wall wills it to deal up and crate a dome for herself.

Ooc: just wanna ask the GM, this campaign salvageable still? Getting kinda bored with no direction.