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Bullshit RPG: The Story Begins

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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-08-06, 22:54

this doesn't actually happen yet unless no one responds by tomorrow 10pm EST (23 hours from now)
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Post by Zhu Yang on 2017-08-06, 23:42

Russian man still struggles to free himself from the rock prison made by Magyk man.

He uses his thunderous thighs in an attempt to free himself.
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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-08-07, 10:08

hite 4
crit 1
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Post by testuser on 2017-08-07, 10:08

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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-08-07, 10:10

The Russian man climbs up on one of the stone bars, wriggling his body until the bar snaps. The man is now able to leave his cage.
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Post by Xenoe on 2017-08-07, 15:06

"Aye, puto, que estas haciendo? I didn't get out of prison just to get into this shit again!"

Jose sees the magyck man trying to to get the jump on him, and unleashes his signature border crossing fist.
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Post by testuser on 2017-08-07, 15:06

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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-08-07, 16:22

The magyyk man takes a puff of the blunt and charges at the hispanic man. The hispanic man launches a kick, but the magyyk man rolls to the side and dodges the attack. Immediately out of the roll, the magyyk man jumps into the air.
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Post by testuser on 2017-08-07, 16:22

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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-08-07, 16:24

The hispanic man walks a little bit to his left and the magyyk man simply falls onto the cold hard ground.
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Post by Xenoe on 2017-08-07, 18:41

Jose attempts to stomp on the magyck man's abdomen.
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Post by Corenat Rovarnus on 2017-08-07, 20:07

Mistah Magyyk Man arrests Jose's movement with spears of rock.
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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-08-08, 12:31

Hit 3, crit 1
Magic 5
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Post by testuser on 2017-08-08, 12:31

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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-08-08, 12:35

The Hispanic man lifts his leg and slips with his grounded foot, falling backwards as a spear of stone shoots up to his lifted foot. The stone spear stops just short of the sole of his shoe.
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Post by kaede on 2017-08-08, 17:20

"So that offer of leaving still available?" She looks to the ceiling and asks the voice.
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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-08-08, 19:00

"Yes, you can leave whenever. However you all gotta agree to it."
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Post by Zhu Yang on 2017-08-08, 20:00

"LET ME OUT," the Russian man screams. "LET ME OUT OF THIS FORSAKEN HELLHOLE." Froth sprays out and dribbles down his chin in his hysteria.
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Post by kaede on 2017-08-08, 23:52

"That is all, well that can hopefully be arranged." Emma closes her and uses her water magic abilities to get a feel for the amount of moisture in the air.
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Post by Corenat Rovarnus on 2017-08-09, 03:29

Magyyk Man sits back down in the healing circle, disappointed at the quality of the magyyks in this realm. He seems receptive, as if a voice is whispering something to him.
"Damn, you guys all wanna leave? You're not interested in my tricks at all, are you?" he remarks in a sad tone.
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Post by Xenoe on 2017-08-09, 09:39

Jose recovers and continues his assault.
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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-08-10, 07:42

The area has a pretty standard amount of moisture in the air. It is somehow relative to a open field's as opposed to a dank dark cave's. n fact, it's very strange that the air smells fresh and not at all stale.

As the magyyk man heads back to the magic circle (despite being healed already), he hears footsteps from behind. As he turns his head instinctively to check out the source of the sound, he notices the Hispanic man charging at him and barely has any time to react.
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Post by testuser on 2017-08-10, 07:42

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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-08-10, 07:46

Jose launches a drop kick and strikes the magyyk man right in his right side as he turns around. This causes the magyyk man to stumble and fall past his destination and Jose to fall but recover quickly. The two men are positioned on either side of the healing magic circle.

The voice from before speaks again.
"I see that not everyone intends to leave yet".
A hint of amusement can be detected in the voice.
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Post by Corenat Rovarnus on 2017-08-10, 10:58

"Oh, NO, I wanted to sit down-" Mistah Magyyk Man's eyes roll up in his head, probably from the pain.
"Uoooooooohhh," he moans, tapping his right side, "UOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!"

He summons a massive spear of rock which skewers the Spanish man through the chest and ruptures his heart and lungs.
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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-08-10, 17:05

Magic Affinty: 5
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Post by testuser on 2017-08-10, 17:05

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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-08-10, 17:11

A spear of rock flies out from in front of the magyyk man, puncturing Jose's chest, just missing his heart. The spear prevents Jose's blood from pouring out of his body.
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Post by Xenoe on 2017-08-12, 14:24

Jose runs over and grabs the Magyk man in a bear hug, smashing the Magyk man's face repeatedly with his forehead.
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Post by Corenat Rovarnus on 2017-08-12, 20:30

Mistah Magyyk Man runs around the room to evade Jose's grasp. "It's too late! Mistah Magyyk Man has already touched that rock."
He mimes clicking a button with his thumb, and detonates part of the spear embedded within Jose into shrapnel that shred through the surrounding organs.
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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-08-13, 16:55

Jose reaches for the magyyk man.

still stuck on rock spear (hit -1)
hit 3, crit 1
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Post by testuser on 2017-08-13, 16:55

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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-08-13, 16:57

Jose just barely misses, his fingers touching the magyyk man as he backs away just in time.

magic affinity 4


Last edited by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-08-13, 17:01; edited 3 times in total (Reason for editing : forgot to account for mana loss)
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Post by testuser on 2017-08-13, 16:57

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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-08-13, 16:59

The magyyk man isn't versed in the art of explosion magicks so he attempts to compensate by extending shards of rock from the inital rock spear. Unfortunately he fails and nothing happens. He also feels heavily mentally fatigued (-1 mana (-2 total)).

Jose still maintains his original position of having a spear of rock skewered through his chest while the magyyk man has gotten up and begun to run around the room.
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Post by kaede on 2017-08-13, 18:50

Having enough of the two fighting, she focuses her magic, combining earth and water to create a mud wall between the two combatants and the healing circle to divide the two.
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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-08-13, 23:44

tons of rock, but not that much moisture (don't get +1 magic affinity)
combining 2 magick types (-1 magic affinity)

magic affinity 4


Last edited by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-08-13, 23:45; edited 1 time in total
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Post by testuser on 2017-08-13, 23:44

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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-08-13, 23:50

a mud wall about 7 feet wide rises up about 4 feet high with its center in the magic circle separating the two fighting men. At the moment, Jose, Emmilia, and Nikolai on one side and the Magyyk Man on the other.
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Post by Corenat Rovarnus on 2017-08-14, 00:16

"Noh, not again!" Magyyk Man slaps the muddy wall half-heartedly. "Ah well, I guess this is it for me then." He goes to sleep.
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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-08-14, 09:22

After saying his piece, the Magyyk Man slouches over onto the wall and falls asleep.
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Post by kaede on 2017-08-18, 21:51

She simply shakes her head at the events. "Honestly, can't we just get along." She walks over to Jose. "Do you need healing or are you fine?"
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Post by Xenoe on 2017-08-21, 17:05

"I'm not fine, nina, but I got more important things to do."

Jose runs up to the sleeping Maygk man, and rams his foot up the magyk man's ass.
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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-08-21, 17:16

Asleep (hit resist -1, crit resist -1)


Hit 5, Crit 2
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Post by testuser on 2017-08-21, 17:16

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Post by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-08-21, 17:23

Jose breaks the spear of rock so that it no longer constricts his movement and proceeds to jump over the mud wall, positioning himself behind the magyyk man.
With a long piece of rock still stuck in his chest, Jose walks up to the magyyk man and kicks him in the ass such that his foot is rammed up his rectal cavity.
The magyyk man wakes up feeling a sharp, lingering pain in his ass.
Jose removes his foot from the magyyk man's ass, finding that it is now bloody (as is the magyyk man's ass)


Last edited by The Lord Kelvin on 2017-08-22, 23:14; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : specified that Jose jumped over the border... I mean mud wall)
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Post by Zhu Yang on 2017-08-22, 18:11

"HELP" the Russian man yells, scrambling away from the fight.

He has had enough of this place, with ass-stabbings, cannabis, and magic rock spikes.

He closes his eyes in fear. If only he had some sort of hidden power to tap into. But no, he is just an ordinary Russian.
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Post by Corenat Rovarnus on 2017-08-23, 00:39

Mistah Magyyk Man jumps to his feet, keenly observing Jose as he steps back into the healing circle. "Ahhh...I did not realize I was dealing with a fellow magician. Sumimasen!" He bows, wincing from the pain of moving his penetrated ass. "But such unrefined technique! I'd show you how to do it properly, but I'm kind of under the weather now because someone wasn't keeping track." He rolls his eyes upwards. "Anyway, can ya roll up another joint?"
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Post by Xenoe on 2017-08-27, 12:30

Jose looks visibly perplexed as it is the first time he has seen someone have such a reaction to having their anus violated, but seeing such a reaction also took all the steam out of his anger.

He rolls joint, takes a drag, and hands it off.

"Si, amigo. I know you might be un maricon, but not everyone is like that. You should keep your body parts away from other people's holes."
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Post by kaede on 2017-08-29, 22:50

She merely stares dumbfounded at the two's actions. "...first you try to kill each other now your buddies?" She just shakes her head at the two's actions. "Know what, I give up. Can you two say you wanna leave? I have a family meeting to get to, and if it is what I think it is I don't want to miss it."
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