Forced CYOA REDUX

B

C) by following the rice krispies droppings

C

C

B

B wins from a d2 roll.

You go looking for the people you came here with. You come across the fat asian man before. He is walking along with the small boy, who stares intently at his Tamagotchi as he raises the soon-to-be-yours pet. The boy starts poking his companion, trying to get him to notice you. "Hey, mister, it's one of our team mates." The fat man reproaches him in a high pitched annoying voice. "I told you Nabhi-kun, call me Nii-san, not mister." He points his beady eyes at you expectantly and you inquire as to the objectives of this deployment.
"Baka! You don't know? Too bad!" The boy has a kinder attitude towards you, and explains that the mission is to find and obtain the "sugar bowl", a container specialized to hold a powerful proprietary composite material. The details are of course classified. This is some hardcore top secret agent mission after all. When the factory was shut down all but one was destroyed. You and the other ProZ-in-training must bring this last one back to HQ for analysis.

A. Ask where they are going and if you can join up with them.
B. Where are the others?
C. What weapon does the fat man have?
D. [Leave them]

C

B

D

C, if it's not too late.

He responds condescendingly. "You wish to see my instrument of destruction, gaijin? BEHOLD!!!" He sticks his hands in between the rolls of his stomach and rummages around, producing gooey, squishy sounds. After a few seconds he wrests out an object with a great rubbery sucking noise. It is a sticky looking green Tamagotchi device covered with several wiggly black hairs. He activates it, and on the screen appears a pear shaped creature with bunny ears and a flower pin.
"This is my joy, Asura-chan. Isn't she soooooo kawaiisa?"
He takes your hesitant silence for agreement, but in actuality your attention is drawn more to the subpar condition of the device.
"So let's see who's stronger, huh? You want a piece of me(boy)?" Crossing his arms, he challenges you to a fight.

A. "Sure, there's enough of you for everyone. Let's go, fatso."
B. Reject the offer and ask to join them. We should save our strength for our enemies.
C. NOPE [leave]

C

CCCCCCCCCCHUCK TESTA!

so is that a C or an A?

itsame273 wrote:so is that a C or an A?

Yes.

NOPE
chuck testa

but really, did you mean C, or were you like "C... NOPE CHUCK TESTA" refering to the last letter (A) as your answer

A) Curb stomp his ass.

itsame273 wrote:NOPE
chuck testa

but really, did you mean C, or were you like "C... NOPE CHUCK TESTA" refering to the last letter (A) as your answer

I've lost track of who's trolling who.

A

A

A) Waaagh!

His jimmies rustled by your remark, the flustered fat man attempts to reassert his dominance by beating his chest...er belly and yelling "GOOOAAAAAAA!!!!" The two of you take up positions opposite each other. Nabhi stands in the middle, acting as referee. "Oh kay...You two, have good clean fight, this goes for what...3 round? Win by knockout." He raises his hands. "And...begin!" Nabhi quickly jumps out as the fat man's glasses gleam in a confident expression despite the inappropriate lighting conditions. "Hmph. Asura-chan, I CHOOSE YOU!!" He thrusts forward his Tamagotchi and the creature jumps out onto the concrete floor, growing in size to about 2 feet tall, its(her?) ears protruding another foot into the air. It squeaks aggressively. The following unfitting music starts playing:
~~FIGHT!!~~
"Your move, gaijin!" He calls out.

A. OHHHH powerofpoo I'M SCREWED [surrender out of fear like the spineless coward you are]
B. Take out your club and advance.
C. Assume a fighting stance and invite your enemy to come to you like those badass martial artists do
D. Observe the creature and try to assess its abilities.

B

F) walk up, crouch down, poke it, and ask for alms

C

E. Throw the baseball bat onto the ground and shout "Woobat, I choose you!!"

Rolling....1 & 4 for B, 2 & 5 for C, 3 & 6 for F. It would be a bit of a stretch to pull a baseball bat out of nowhere so I'm not counting E.

The member 'Corenat Rovarnus' has done the following action : Dice Roll\'d

'normal' :

C wins.

You try to enter a cool pose and motion with your finger, but you end up looking more like a drag queen making a "come-hither" expression. "Nice try, I'm not into that and I'm not going to draw you like I draw my French girls." He adjusts his device. "WWAD?|>FIGHT|>TACKLE". The Tamagotchi lunges at you!
WAIT NO I NEED A DO-OVER

A. Just as planned! Spring your nefarious trap onto the creature.
B. Dodge
C. Play Dead

A

C

A

A

Alas, despite your crafty ways, your current inventory is not conducive for springing a trap anywhere near the level of 'nefarious'. You simply take out your club and swing it at the creature as HARD as you can. It makes contact with a solid thud. You manage to divert the creature's course slightly away from you, but your arms are jarred and you are slightly staggered from the impact. The creature rolls off to your left, lets out a short cry of pain and starts getting back up.
"Round 1 over, challenger ahead. Round 2 start!" Nabhi shouts.
Despite being battered, you realize that now would be a good time to take the initiative(and create the internet).

A. Look tough and intimidate them into surrendering. "You sure you want to keep going against a brutal beast like me?"
B. Hit the creature while its down.
C. Go for the fat man.

C

D: crouch down and poke the creature while its down.

C

C wins.

You raise your club and charge at the now open fat man. He shows obvious distress at his evidently un-armed status. As you close in to strike, he puts his hands on his hips and puffs out his belly in a defiant expression. "You DARE attack me, gaijin? You can't attack the trainer, that's against the rules!"

A. BULLpowerofpoo he's just bluffing, GIVE HIM THE STICK
B. Touch the point of your club to his neck like they do in swordfights and ask "Do you yield?"
C. Ask Nabhi if it really is against the rules.

D. Jab him where the fat rolls are weakest/thinnest!!! stab him in the balls

D

B

Jab him where the fat rolls are weakest/thinnest!!!
stab him in the balls

You can't do both, his thickest rolls flop over to protect his crotch

o wow, ok , change to just the weakest/thinnest

You find the thinnest looking part of his fatty exterior and jam your stick in as hard as Freudianly possible. Unfortunately your club becomes lodged about 2 inches deep in his bulk and you are down a melee weapon. The fat man screams "Kyaaaaa!!" in a high falsetto and doubles over clutching the affected area.

A. OH GOD PULL OUT PULL OUT
B. Shove it in deeper and twist to cause him additional pain.
C. Continue the beatdown with punches and kicks.
D. Ask him if he yields yet.

B

You twist the proverbial knife, along with the non proverbial and altogether very real club. He starts screaming and Nabhi shields his eyes from the brutality. Suddenly you feel a sharp pain in your butt from behind. The tamagotchi has clamped its jaws down tight and starts to pull at you.

A. Kick away the creature and continue the torture.
B. Remove the club and use it to dispatch the Tamagotchi
C. ATTRITION!!!

B

B

You wrench out your club with one last pained gasp emitting from the fat man, and start whacking away at the creature attached to your buttocks. Every time the club makes contact it squeals "MEWLP". The struggle is brutal and exhausting. If PETA knew about this they'd have your head. Finally after it seems like most of your butt has been chewed to bits, the Tamagotchi releases its jaws and falls to the floor, afflicted with a head concussion. The fat man slaps his hands to his cheeks in horror and rushes over to the comatose body of his beloved pet. "Noooooo! Asura-chan!" He taps his device against the creature in the vain hope that it will turn into energy and return inside the handheld, but to no avail. He falls to his knees and begins to cry uncontrollably, tears spilling off his triple chin onto quivering manboobs. "You bastard *sob* she was my one and only *whimper* you will pay *sob* dearly for dis gaijin-san"
Nabhi solemnly walks over and declares: "Tamagotchi Asura has fainted." It seems that victory is at hand.

A. FINISH HIM!!!!!
B. Rub your triumph in the fat man's face and tell him you won't let him off so easy next time.
C. See what can be done to help the fallen Tamagotchi recover.

B