Forced RPG

He stops short. "Uh, well, I suppose if you do this right, I'll consider paying you for future tasks."

*Examine the form

There seems to be about 20 to 30 copies of this same form stacked together. 6 of them are already filled out.
You take a look at the front page:

The form:

*look and see if the 6 filled out forms are different in any way

Each form has different text filled out on it, if that's what you mean.

"Yes, I have come to save everybody! But what exactly is the problem?"

The woman dramatically gasps. "Oh, but it is horrible, brave sir! There is a terrible beast which lives up-"
A bearded man cuts in, gently ushering her to the side. "Shh. Now now, Peggy dear, you got work to do, you just go on back home, we will welcome, uh, the mighty hero."
She nods and quickly scurries away. The man turns to you.
"Sorry about that, Peggy is just a little wrong in the head, trapped in some sort of, I don't know, crazy fantasy world. She thinks you're some sort of hero and that there are monsters and demons everywhere. It's somewhat of an embarrassment to us, but she's family. " He shrugs.
"Out of curiosity, what are you doing here? And why do you have a huge ball of...refuse?"

"Well, actually I am a wandering beast slayer, and this ball isn't exactly refuse. Its make of fragments of my sword, that I accidentally broke by smashing into a rock. Do you know a blacksmith that can reforge my sword?"

"who exactly am I filling out these health forms for?"

@felix: "As it happens we have two master blacksmiths here. One goes by the name of Ford Blubash, he lives in the traditional orange house at high end of Lain Street. He's a loner, taking only local projects from us." He points down the largest cobblestone path. "The other is Master Aran Halshire, he's in the employ of Ser Jordan Reeves. You'll find him in the small building attached to Ser Reeves' manor house, next to the Southron Watch Tower. If you're looking for the cheapest, well-" He frowns. "It's complicated. Blubash charges a lot more for his work, but if you go to Halshire, they will likely demand you take up as a retainer for Ser Reeves."

@Kai-Wario: He throws his arms out."Who do you think they're for? The natives here! Now get to it!"

"Relax, I'm just confirming my thoughts."
*heads out to each native and fill out the forms for each native by asking them questions pertaining to what I need to fill out on the sheets (this prolly takes a while, plz tell me when im done, Kooay)

"No problem Mr. Niao. My assistant Maestro and I will construct it ourselves using the POWER OF WISDOM. In fact, the WISE DECISION would be to remodel this grand hall of yours into a CHURCH OF WISDOM that all villagers can enjoy!"
Leaps out of the managers office, jumps on a dining table and BREAKS INTO WISE HYMNS...OF WISDOM.
Maestro showers me with confetti while also clearing tables and tearing off the wood to construct a PULPIT OF WISDOM.

@Vroopmaster: There is no office, you were next to his chair in the dining hall. Unfortunately Maestro does not possess the strength to rip up the wood.
The villagers start clearing out of the hall to do rites and then sleep.
The chieftain looks at you before leaving.
"Whatever you are doing, don't get carried away, I want to wake up tomorrow and have there still be a hall left."
The doors close.

Hop onto table and spread arms wide open.
"The hills are alive with the sound of music
With songs they have sung for a thousand years
The hills fill my heart with the sound of music
My heart wants to sing every song it hears!"
After breaking into song, huddle with Maestro.

"OK Elder Maestro, we have no money, materials or tools with which to build this CHURCH OF WISDOM. But, we will succeed! This is because I have a 20" titanium cross."
Use cross as toolbar to pry off pieces of a table to make a rudimentary ALTAR OF WISDOM on which to offer my prayers.
Ask Elder Maestro to WISELY OFFER BLOOD in small amounts to lightly color the altar.
After completion go with Maestro to find some unsuspecting villages in their residence...

Roll out to Ford Blubash's abode.

@Vroopmaster:
The cross does not seem to provide any significant aid in prying off pieces of wood. It is too thick to fit in the cracks between planks, and there is nothing nearby to brace it against for leverage.

@felix:
You roll over to the manor. Along the way you notice all of the houses are huge and everything is kept very orderly and clean, despite the level of technology you've seen. Must be a rich neighborhood.

Blubash's Abode:

His workshop should probably be behind the house. You can't hear any sounds that would typically accompany a blacksmith's operations, so he probably isn't working right now.

Observe to see what is inside hall.

There are some cooking pots, a fireplace, the tables, some wooden stirring rods. There are also some solid piece chairs.

Inside looks kinda like this:

"No english?" and I shrug

@amos: They cease talking momentarily. One of them, a grizzled broad shouldered man with creases on his cheeks, tries making hand gestures to you. He first makes a figure of a walking person, nods, then points in both directions of the road.

@Kai-Wario: You finish filling out all the forms in English and then give it to the officer. He throws it down on his desk and stands up.
"Wrong language, colonial. It needs to be in Vancian, not Aenglic."

"IS THERE A PROBLEM OFFICER?..... BECAUSE IT SEEMS TO ME THAT THERE'S AN OFFICER PROBLEM!!!"

He clenches his fists and teeth. "NO Don't you dare make that face...You know what I'm talking about!! Yes there is a problem you monkey dung filled under-the-bridge-monster!"

A red headed man dressed in a fancy peacock coat and not much else bursts through the door into the room, drawing a ring pommel saber out of his pants. He cries "DIE, UNBELIEVER!" and points his sword at the both of you.

*look around my immediate vicinity for something to use as a weapon and grab it

You brainstorm within a fraction of a second. You remember a drunk driving presentation you watched in the past.
*The human skull is a deadly weapon in an tightly enclosed space like a car...*
"HEY! WHAT ARE YOU- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!?!?"
You grab the officer's head and put it between you and the man, dragging the rest of his body along with it.

"it seems that we both have an officer problem here... I'm sorry, but this guy is mine to kill... He's got beef with me right now"

The coated man's eyes bug out, a vein popping in his head. "Oh, it's BEEF for you? Well HE OWES ME SAUSAGE, AND A LOT OF IT!!" he yells. He quickly stows his sword back in his pants and smiles. "But who said anything about killing?"

"Oh, I apologize good sir, I meant to say swill. I grabbed this man's head out of instinct when you barged in with a sword. I panicked and got tounge tied while talking. back where I come from, we use the term swill to say have food with, as swill is generally animal feed and everyone eats from the same meal house at home."

The officer you're manhandling (lolololol) grunts from beneath your tightly gripped hands. "Can you let go of me now? You made me knock over my penis- I MEAN PENS!! stupid 'I'- off the desk."

The coated man keeps smiling. "Oh, well that wouldn't be as riling as if you were going to kill him, but that's good, because I am and I, the great MARTIFRAY, do not like competition. You go ahead and swill him, and then I'll have my 'sausage fest'."

"Okay then, seems legit."
*lets go of the officer (problem)
*talks to the officer (problem)
"It seems that you were quite angry in our previous conversation. Let us discuss the (officer) problem at mealtime in the meal house. Until then, enjoy your 'sausagefest'"
*leave the building, check and see if there are any windows around the building I came out of, head there, observe the scene; all the while checking if there is anything to use as a weapon along the way

Flip largest cooking pot I can find upside down, and use it to informally declare the grand hall a CHURCH OF WISDOM.

Stoke the fireplace and use all available wood to increase the size of the fire. WISELY BURN the grand hall, which is now a CHURCH OF WISDOM, down to ashes, making sure to exit the building with Elder Maestro before the fire spreads to our location.

@Kai-Wario: "Now, the great Martifray shall HAVE his SAUSAGES!!!" He pulls his sword back out when you exit the building, his hamster skin hat falling off without his notice. You hear several screams and crashing noises as you walk around to the window. You see some wooden rods leaning against a house nearby, and some small stones that might injure if thrown properly. There is a farmer with a long hoe walking into the village. You see the great hall you ate in is burning down.
You peer through a window in the side of the building. You can see that the room you just left is empty, but there are slash marks all over the place, broken vases, and torn papers. The...conflict...has moved into a different part of the house. You go around the house looking for another window and find that there are two more, but they have blinds or curtains over them on the inside. The screaming and crashing continues.

@Vroopmaster: Well you done did it now. The chief comes out in the morning. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!?"

take two of the rods leaning on the nearby house, break the window closest to the source of the commotion, jump in, and quickly observe my surroundings

You break in and head to the next room, where you find 'The Great Martifray' and the officer having a heated duel. The officer seems to have picked up a slightly bent dull lead pipe which he is defending himself with.
"WHERE ARE THEY? SHOW ME YOUR PILE OF MEAT!" Martifray yells as his sword clangs against the pipe. The officer dodges to the right and an unlit lantern spills liquid all over the carpeted floor. He sees you and says "Good you're back! Now help me get away from this madman!" in a labored breath.

Crash at Bulbash's, try to find him.

@felix: You find him taking a nap on the back porch. He is a gruff, unshaven man but is clad in what looks like a silk pao.

GRIN WISELY at Mr. Niao like a true salesman.

"Oh Mr. Niao! You've caught me at a bad time. I was not yet ready to present to you this WISE MASTERPIECE OF ARSON; it lacked confetti and proper atmosphere."

Have Maestro hum an introductory tune.

"However, seeing as you're already here, there's no time for those things. Our story begins a long time ago, in a land far, far away from here. I was visiting Salt Lake City, Utah last summer with my family and a Mormon professor. This professor had long been friends with my father, and it was on his suggestion that we WISELY VISIT the Salt Lake Temple. Its walls were subLIMESTONE and its peaks were beautiful. It was at that time, when I witnessed the true splendor of our Lord's creation that I WISELY DECIDED to convert to Mormonism.

So our country prospered, and for four score and seven years we WISELY EXPORTED much salt to the neighboring countries of Arizona and Nevada to make much a profit. The Lord saw that this was good, until one day...

The evil adherents of the CHURCH OF WISDOM were jealous of our Eden-like existence and proceeded to UNWISELY BURN all our temples! Their decision was very UNWISE because, ironically, the CHURCH OF WISDOM is led by very UNWISE LEADERS, who are ignorant and intolerant. Unlike the followers of the Mormon faith, the WORSHIPERS OF WISDOM are all unstable and unproductive, and live their lives off hand-outs from other countries, because their ETHICALLY SUPERIOR leaders would not allow these countries to fall.

Thus, in a solemn ceremony, all of our surviving followers are encouraged to WISELY BURN a CHURCH OF WISDOM in order to exact vengeance on the many temples and overtime Elders who were lost that fateful day..."

Maestro ends tune and starts with new, triumphant tune accompanied by stomping feet and hand trumpet.

"So, I ask of you Mr. Niao, are you my master? will you aid me in bringing down the satanic CHURCH OF WISDOM, and establishing a Mormon fiefdom in this great land of ours?"

Puts arm around Mr. Niao, looks towards the sky, and gestures with free hand.

"We could have peace, pieces of pizza I mean, prosperity and much much salt! Think long and hard WISELY on your answer, Mr. Niao; the fate of the world depends on it!"

Michael's performance was not as good as you expected.
The chieftain takes a very long and loud sigh.
"As much as you want to enact your traditions, I must remind you that there is no Church of Wisdom in our village, and you have actually just burned down our Great Hall which we use for our communal meals. Frankly as peace goes, I'm more concerned about our Vancian overlords taxing us to oblivion than your faraway rival cult. Your intentions seem to be good, but destroying important village property is a crime, and must be punished severely. Standing Bull!"
A large burly man and his more slender companion arrive on the scene.
"Take these men into custody. I shall announce their punishment later when the farmers have returned." He walks away.
The two move in and seize you and Maestro in vice-like grips, pulling you towards the palisade wall. They tie you both to tall upright wooden beams embedded in the ground, securing your hands and feet with rope. Your titanium cross is confiscated.

Observe surroundings and establish eye contact with Maestro.

No way am I ending this with a post on Friday the 13th. It's like Forced RPG got murdered by Jason or something.

@Vroopmaster:
The chief, Standing bull, and several villagers return later.
"As part of your punishment, you and your friend will aid us in rebuilding the great hall." You notice as they untie you that the palisade gates have been closed in the middle of the day. They bring you over to the wreckage of the great hall, where people are bringing in wood and other raw materials.
"Your portion of the work will take all day for 3 days, at the end of each you will be put under supervision for the night. Any questions?"

@felix: Blubash opens his sharp eyes and sees you.
"You a visitor? What business do you have with me?"