Forced RPG

"oh Kai-Wario, you're awake, I just came over here and found you all bruised up! what happened man?"

*turns to face amos
"Voce me atingiu. Seu filho da puta"

"Hey, dude, you ok?"

Lay's low on the raft and slowly paddle towards the figure, observing what they look like.

/acknowledging his awesome words I give him a friendly punch of approval
/punch Kai-Wario face

"Привет! Мне нравится пирог"

"Hey bro, watchout for those stairs"

"NICHT der Treppe! Nichts mehr mit den Treppen!"

/I give him a punch of brotherly love
/punch Kai-Wario face
"dose stairs bro, I warned you bout dose stairs!"

"לך תזדיין."
*turns to Nina
"כל כך סקסי...אני יכול לקבל את זה?"

"Hey Nina! this guy called you a b17ch, want me to hit him for you?"
/whisper
"dose stairs"

I assert my divine presence upon Kai-Wario, and take control of his body in his drunken stupor.

"マダム、彼はあなたに嘘をついている。悪魔に耳を傾けません。"

OOC: im not drunk man

/appalled by the presence of the devil within Kai-Wario, I smack him again
"He has been taken by the devil! we must drive it out of him!"
/smack
/smack
/smack

"彼に聞いていません。彼はあなたを混乱させるしようとしている"

bored of beating the sh1t out o- I mean helping Kai-Wario, I get up and go talk to nina.

"Heyyy! Nina! what's going on"
I glare at her in a "did u figure out wtf is going on" kinda way

Kai-Wen:"RAWR"
Kai-Wen twitches his ass, allowing his Kuhkri to slip out of his buttcheeks, and then uses it to cut the ropes by wiggling his ass back and forth with the handle of the kuhkri sandwiched in between.
He then steals some tea from a local and drinks it like A TRUE SOCIALIST.

"madame, je vous demande ... pouvez-vous m'aider à s'échapper des griffes de ce trou du cul?"

OOC: dude, i don't have my kuhkri with me and u can't control me cuz im not drunk

I take over Standing Bull with my divine presence. Causing him to dance around the village with his spear stuck in between his buttcheeks.

@felix: You rest easy on your laurels, knowing that your loyal servants are carrying out your divine socialist bidding. In your imagination. You feel good about having such a powerful mind.

OOC: Now that I've gotten your attention, whats really happening around me man.

Xenoe wrote:Lay's low on the raft and slowly paddle towards the figure, observing what they look like.

You see a tall dark skinned man in a light blue tunic with a bag slung over his back, a slightly shorter elderly man in a multicolored garment resembling a bathrobe who is holding a metallic rod (the man, not the garment), and a female in drab gray next to the old man. They spot your raft and start running, the tall man shouting something that you are too far away to make out.

Plaster Sandow's face onto mine like a mask, and paddle in the other direction, onto land. Look around for a place to lie in ambush.

ooc: just got off work sorry for late reply.

ic: feeling someone behind her she stabs her swordstaff behind her at the person.

@felix: You require more minerals to 'plaster' the face on, but you give it the best you've got. It takes some time to beach your raft on the side of the lake, during which the other people close to less than a few hundred feet. You get onto dry land, and see only open plain for about a mile in each direction, interrupted only by sparse shrubs and the occasional pine tree. Some trees are large enough to hide behind.

@nina: You stab forcefully behind you, but it surprisingly meets no resistance. You turn around to find.....that your fears were completely unfounded. There is nothing there. You grumble to yourself, feeling like you were forcefully typecast as the scared valley girl in a cheesy horror movie. Omg that is like, totally bogus man.

@amos: Painted Arrow walks over to Kai-Wario. "What happen to dis man face? It seem like someone hit him?"

"It was terrible! I was walking by in the morning and I found him bruised up like this. It seems like someone was trying to get something out of him. I tried to ask him what happened but apparently the head trauma has left him a bit confused and unable to use english."

He scratches his head. "Uhhh you sure you no see who do dis? The bruise seem like they happen only several minute ago."

"No, if I had seen the assailant I'd have gone down on him with my sword already. Do you have any idea of anyone in this city that would do that."

"I probably should no tell you if you very determine to get revenge for whatever reason. I do know some peopre who do not rike foreigners, especiarry Vance-ren."

"Wait, what the hell? I was sleeping in the racist neck of the woods? this is absurd. Is racist winnie the pooh going to come out and preach about the need for inequality and punch me in the face too?"

Putting on a face of frustration

"I need to find my female companion, if you could, please tend to this mans injuries and wake him up. Ask him if he has a living space anywhere. I will come by later and try to pack up his stuff and then we will see about making haste to get out of here."

"I try my best to help him. I do not understand what you say though. Woods do not have neck, and who is winnie the pooh? Yes, I know some peopre don't rike outsider, but I don't think they hate so much as to punch one in face. Anyway, you go about you business."

"Well I sure hope none of your people would do this, but the evidence speaks for itself. Anyways I'll go do my business"

*hits head against the post to reconfigure language setting (as well as get every1's attention)
"AMOS, YOU BASTARD. WHY YOU HIT ME? IZ SO SAD BRO... IZ SO SAD... QQ DAMNIT KAEDE SADUH FACE!!!!"

Painted Arrow lays his hands on Kai-Wario's shoulders.
"要冷静, 朋友. 告诉我，谁击中你。" he says to him.

A young man jogs over to Amos. He has a tossed hairstyle and an elaborate dress.
"Ah...pardon me, I believe...Chief Blood Eagle wants to see you now. In the great hall. Bring your woman as well."

Vroop wrote:On the way ask Maestro to share a little information about himself as part of the induction ceremony into the Mormon faith.

He tells you that he was a country boy raised in the right western way by compassionate, understanding parents and a loving brother. He dreamed of becoming a movie director making fine productions for the fields of Biology and English, until tragedy struck him one fateful day. As he was hurrying home on a rainy day, he tripped over a power line which triggered a freak lightning storm that killed his entire extended family across the nation and disfigured himself and his significant others(yes, this is the pimp version of michael) in a way that would cripple his career: he was no longer able to finish and edit his productions in single all night last minute jobs. His life shattered, the once proud 'Maestro of the Cinema' renounced his faith in the Almighty believing himself forsaken, and wallowed in grief beyond his years, playing table top RPGs all by himself as he could not face others with the guilt of Familicide weighing down on him. But now his conversion to the Mormon faith had put a small ray of hope in his dark heart, driving him to live on and achieve his dreams despite the adversity he faces.

*hits head on post to change languages again
"你们村的一个陌生人打我。该名男子行驶与女人谁烧了我的药。"

What does the scanner say about Kooay sarcastic levels?

Painted Arrow makes a confused expression.
"那个男子我刚才说话同?"

@michael:

"Why? what could be so urgent?"

@mos: He scratches his head. "Nothing urgent, he just wants to speak with you. Are you busy?"

I go up to the three strangers, looking a bit trippy.
"I duh medicine man of nearby village, I got some da vision medicine."
"It great, you try?"
Handing them some rufies.
"You put in mouth."
OOC: Kai-Wario your grammar so bad, duh google translate is duh fail.
"你们村的一个陌生人打我。该名男子行驶与女人谁烧了我的药。">"你们村的一个陌生人打我。该名男子和一陌生女人一同。他还烧了我的药。"

"这是他"

OOC: "那个男子我刚才说话同?">"和我刚才说话的那个男子?" and 击中>打

OOC: can I call a ban on using other languages in game that you have to use google translate for?

I could use hebrew , which I can actually speak, but I refrain cuz its bs to the other players. I'm chill if you can ACTUALLY speak the language, but not if you have to use google translate for it and you are saying actual stuff
/end OOC

"Ok, still, what does he want to talk to me about? as you can see, my friend here was assaulted and I am worried about my companions safety. I am in a hurry to pack my things."

OOC: Alright then everyone, you can only use languages you actually know. I guess that means I have to do the old "you can't understand what he's saying" thing now

@Kai-Wario: Painted Arrow takes out a small deerskin bag and applies some sort of slimy liquid to your face.
"This help ease pain for now."

@mos: His eyebrows rise. "Your friend? I remember you saying last night that you didn't know him, and he just told Painted Arrow that you're the one who hit him. I certainly would not do that to my friends. So, is he your friend or not? And if he is, why would he say you hit him?"

@felix: The dark skinned man says something angrily to the old man, who nods and touches the throats and ears of his companions. The dark skinned man backhandedly strikes your extended arm and the rufies you were holding fall to the ground.
"There are no villages nearby. Who are you really and what have you been doing to our resting spot?"

"Where we come from, it is custom that we punch those who might be derranged or on drugs. We believe that people can collect their minds in the pain. Clearly last night he was under the effect of those damned pills which I made haste to burn so that it would not contaminate him further. Surely you understand that we have our own ways of doings things.

So, to put things simply he took drugs and that is not considered OK by in our traditions, so I punched him to return him to his senses. I was worried you might not respect our traditions so I didn't want to give off the impression of a violent destructive man"

@mos:
The man makes a slightly annoyed expression while maintaining an otherwise stoic posture.
"You did not answer my questions, but I no longer care. I respect that you may have your own traditions and customs from your own lands, but if they compel you to lie about something like this, perhaps you should reconsider whether to uphold them. Also, this man who is supposedly your friend looks like he is a citizen from Vance, not wherever you come from. Please refrain from 'returning him to his senses' so you don't get us in trouble with their officials. As for the chief, he simply wants to know more about you. If you're occupied with something vastly more important, no one is stopping you from doing that first. He'll be in his dwelling for most of the day if you ever feel like accepting his invitation." He briskly turns and walks away.

OOC: Apparently Kai-Wario can *speak* chinese but can't write fluently....so i guess he's cleared.

*makes serious face

DAIJOUGU MUNDAINAI. Fear not Mr. Arrow. I sensed no hostility, rage, pity, hunger, blood-lust, sadness, happiness, stubbornness, retardedness, or murderous intent in him when he mercilessly assaulted me. The only thing I felt was a... MASSIVE AMOUNT OF TROLLAGE!!!

OOC: Are we there yet?

@Vroopmaster: You find the sleeping hobo in the road. He starts to wake up and frantically searches around with his hands. "Whuh...powerofpoo!!! it's...no...no no no...impossible..this can't be happening!!!" Do you continue walking?

@Kai-Wario: Painted Arrow sighs. "Ok if you say so, I go tell the-"
The Oriental man in uniform pushes his way through and speaks in Chinese:
"I did not expect to find a citizen here. Do you require assistance?"

"it's okay mah fellow true socialist... keep walking proud with your chest puffed out.... NEVA SURRENDAAAAA!!!! cuz..."

"it's okay man, just go about your business... I MUST FIGHT MAH OWN BATTLES!!! I'LL TAKE THE BEST THEY'VE GOT"