Filthy Xenos Adventures in Space

"'Wow, it would have been nice for Aten to mention this giant library,' muses Firsa. 'We would never have had to go to that cesspool of a port and Baravyn and Zuensyr might still be alive...'"

While awaiting a response Aten wonders to himself, I wonder what sort of agonizing tortures Trazyn might inflict on me for bringing an Eldar into the heart of our most secret knowledge. I sure hope Firsa is grateful for the gigantic risks I'm taking as I try to keep the future from being eaten by some twelve-eyed monster.

"What is it you need then? Surely you didn't come all the way here with an Eldar just to speak to me?"

"I didn't want to start with business, but, if you insist, we need information. Trazyn has presented us with quite a list and some of the items we require are unknown to me." Aten continues to explain each item and what the party currently knows about it in detail. He then launches into a rather more important matter.

"While you ponder those mysteries, I'm afraid I must also ask your assistance in gathering up a crew of loyal Necrons to run this Eldar's ship. He relied on the souls of the dead, but his Seer perished in an ill-advised duel, leaving him unable to control the majority of his ship. I have drawn up plans for a full retro-fitting, allowing the ship to be manned by a more traditional crew. Your assistance in this matter would effectively provide the Nefru dynasty with an entire starship; while the Eldar would retain nominal control, she would be more easily swayed by my counsel. We initiated contact with Overlord Vitola, but were told to return in ten years. Unfortunately we are on a bit of a tight schedule."

Finally, Aten asks Lord Milxent if she would be willing to discuss her time in the War in Heaven with him for his new book.

Lord Milixent says her time in the War in Heaven was spent collecting information. The usual thing: burning a planet, ripping apart specimens, and of course putting the accursed C'tan in their place. The rest, well, it goes by in a blur.

The next month goes by quick. It starts out as an appeal for more men through Lord Milixent but then it soon catches the ear of Overlord Vitolla that a Necron Lord of her dynasty is undermanned. Outraged by this she orders that you be given a full compliment of Necrons, a ship to represent your position, and finally some other Necrons to fill out the ranks of the Eldar ship. In a blur Aten is taken off to survey possible ships he'd like (70 SP of a ship to be precise) all the while Firsa is led bck to her ship and allowed to oversee the installment of essentially permanent Necrons into consoles to allow FULL USE OF THE SHIP. Soon enough things are ready and everyone is ready to depart.

Tristan is overjoyed at the news. "Mission accomplished! What rating are the necron crew? Can I help Lae'orenar build her ship? Would there have been any time during the modifications for Firsa to fine some nice eldar friendly books in the library? How about some chances for acquisitions?"

[Crew rating of 40,unfortunately Eldar aren't allowed to use the data files for obvious reasons. You did just get your acquisition. Be grateful]

Lae'orenar is overjoyed. She whips out a sheet of paper and starts scribbling furiously. After a few hours of discussion with Lord Yval and Tristan, they show Desilco the plans for their new ship, the Tuktakta.

"Of course! Excuse me Lord-Captain. I got excited. Let's get started again!"

Aten sends a message over the the Tanurom from the bridge of the Tuktakta, a glorious Scythe-class cruiser brimming with potential.

"We are prepared for departure, Captain. Let us proceed back to the planet where we left Dubshredda so many months ago. I shall follow you through the Webway."

"'Tanurom Reading you loud and clear. Time to put my navigation skills to the test!' You here the sound of cracking knuckles over vox."

And so you begin your travel. Into the Webway you go over a journey that is supposed to last 15 days. The journey is smooth and nothing of any real importance happens and soon enough you receive the message you've arrived at your destination after only four days. When you emerge you find out that you've come out right into the ring of junk surrounding the planet you left Dubshredda on! Not only that, but your sensors immediately pick up on a cruiser class ship in your immediate vicinity! THINK FAST!!!

"'Sorry for the rough landing friends!' Firsa apologizes to her full crew of soulless death robots. 'Hail this ship before any shots get fired unnecessarily! I hate making bad first impressions.'"

Luckily the repulsor fields of the Tuktakta laugh at the ring of junk. Aten opens communications with the Tanurom.

"Captain Firsa, perhaps you had better carry out this meeting. I am happy to assist with any translations necessary, but I believe many of you organic races prefer the presence of Eldar to Necrons."

"In the mean time, Firsa does her best to avoid the space junk."

"Krsht .... Ullo? ULLOOOO? is dis on ya gud fer nuttin boy! oh is it? ... AHA YAZ! DIS BE KAPTIN DUBSHREDDA OF DA BLOODGUTTA ... NO, OF DA GUY-GANTIK TEEF, wait ... AH FERGIT ITZ BLOODGUTTA FER NOW! WHO BE PROWLIN ROUND DIS PLANET HUH? ANSWER FAST OR ME BOYZ GUNNA GIVE YA A WHOOPIN."

"Dubshredda!!!" Aten is surprised and delighted to hear the ork's voice once more. The green fellow had started to grow on him (possibly literally). "I see you've come up in the world. What a lovely ship. Please tell us, what have you been up to the past few months?"

"'Hail Kaptain Dubshredda! It's the lovely Captain Firsa returned to pick up her dear friend. I hope you still remember me! You appear to have done quite well for yourself!.'"

"Fur-sha... wur duz dat name come from ... Not on da planet, ain't no 'umies down 'dere named Fursha, we neva asked dem 'doe. 'Nd da udder voice, soundz like A BITZ! OH, YA LOT. IZ BEEN YEARZ. WUR DIDJA GO?!"

"Do you not remember Dubshredda? We went on a voyage to repair the Tanurom. Succeeding in this task was simple. I have also finally received what is owed to me as a Necron Lord. We three shall forge a mighty fleet!"

"'Were we really gone that long? Hmm, unfortunately we don't have many good stories to share, we got lost in the warp thanks to some troubled navigation and have been traveling for almost the whole time we've been gone! We did manage to get Aten a cruiser and fill out Tanurom's crew. What have you been doing all this time?'"

"Fill out da krew? Why not jus use sum greenskinz? We got plenty! Even a new 'nd improved tin 'ead like urshelf kud get a real kick from 'avin greenskinz all around! We've definitely 'ad a great time 'aven't we boyz?"

You hear the cacophonous roar of greenskins crackle over their ramshackle communication systems.

"We'z 'ad a tuff time of it wen ya took me 'ere. But den dere wuz sum dakka dakka 'nd kuttin 'nd SO. MUCH. LOOT. Da best o timez. Ya come 'ere wit a direkshun? Me 'nd da boyz are ready for more WAAAGH!"

"Before you start another WAAAGH! we need more ships Dubshredda. We're heading towards an abandoned space hulk, where you and your boyz can whip up some more hulls for us."

"Anutter one? WE went ta a hulk! Wut a koincidence! Our hulk iz all used up 'doe. 'Nd walky bit. Dun't go assumin anytin bout orks, an ork ship is an ork ship. We do gotz a lotta boyz doe..."

"'More orkz!? Dubshredda, we should have another dance off! I promise I won't have any alterior motives. My squad and I have had plenty of time to whip up some new routines. But I digress, is this area safe? I think we need some time to give each other full reports and come up with a solid plan of action.'"

"Iz pretty safe 'ere. Borin' aktually, itz gud dat ya came wen ya did."

Before the three Captains begin discussing their next objective, Aten tries to remember anything about the Zeta Sector of the Halo Stars. In particular, he is thinking about the types of ships present and the history of any wars in the region.

[3 degrees of failure ): ]

[It's 40K, there's always a war anywhere you go]

"After chatting, catching up, and discussing plans for some time, Firsa begins preparation for navigation to the Zeta sector. The way seems clear so Tanurom leads the charge with the two other ships trailing behind."

Off you go again, except this time as a group. Firsa manages to locate and plot a course through the Webway with most of her estimates putting it at a travel length of 40 days, however, with her exceptional sight into the Webways paths she believes she has plotted a course that will only take ten days. Into the Webway you all go, following the Tanorum through the mysterious paths of this more stable part of the Warp. As the travel goes on you all make the necessary preparations for your plan to capture the Vuloir. The trip goes on quite smoothly for some time withthe only instance of trouble being some "misfiring" sensors on the Ork ship. A quick investigation reveals that the boyz responsible likely messed up some electrical work (or they spilled a squigs blood all over the console considering the blood and juices spread all over the room). Whatever it is Dubshredda pays no heed to it as boyz will be boyz. After the ten day period Firsa alerts everyone that they have arrived and the necessary preparations for departure must be made for the return to real space.

Aten goes through the necessary preparations, pleased with the responsiveness of the Tuktakta. As he directs his crew he ponders the progress he has made on his book over the past 240 hours. The insights of the other Necrons he was able to speak to over the month they spent on Solemnance have proved most helpful. He is on his way to writing the most comprehensive history of the War in Heaven in the galaxy.

Dubshredda scans for planets in the system. After a warp he and his boyz lust for bloodshed.

Before any such scans can be carried out the ships first depart from the Webway. As you exit from the relative safety of this labyrinth you are greeted by the large expanse of the void. Not nearly as many stars dot this sky when looking outward as you have traveled to the outer galactic rim. Unfortunately your view is cut short by an enormous block of ice that drifts pass your ships and you are immediately shaken by impacts to their hulls. Luckily, due to the extreme density of your ships armor, no damage is taken by any of the three vessels. You will all have to make the required tests to pass out of the ice ring surrounding a planet you exited near without risking any more damages or being slowed down.

Lae'orenar speaks. "I believe we equipped the Tuktakta with repulsor fields for just this reason. These repel any sort of obstacle formed mostly of small particles (like an ice ring) allowing the ship to move freely."

"Then you can just plow right through"

"Well aren't we fancy with our brand new ship? Firsa doesn't even have navigation (stellar)..." Tristan sighs with a frown.

"Then you make a +0 crew rating test"

"In that case, Tanurom makes it through no problem."

Same as the Tuktakta, Dubshredda's vessel plows forward with the void shield array deflecting all small pieces of space debris.

And so it is that all three ships plow their way or maneuver their way through the ice ring of this gas giant you popped out next to. Once clear Dubshredda uses his ships "auger arrays" (more like a pile of scrap that somehow gives info) to search for planets. Lo and behold the data returned is that there are four planets in this solar system: a small rocky world close to the blue sun, the Vuloir home world, the gas giant, and another gas giant farther out.

Making your way to the Vuloir home world takes another two days of travel but soon enough you all arrive in orbit. Assessments for damages from the entry show no signs of wear, except for some dents in the Tanorum's armor. The Orks on (whatever the Ork ships name is today) have been getting particularly riled up for the fighting coming up; more than usual actually. If there is anything you wish to say at a meeting or the like before getting things under way say so now.

"Before we engage, let us go over the plan one last time. Dubshredda, you will send your men down on a smaller, preferably isolated continent. You will wreak havoc and ascertain their capabilities. Try and gather as much loot as possible. After a sufficient period of time, Firsa and I shall go down to the surface to 'rescue' the Vuloir from the greenskin menace. Are we in accord?"

"'I admit, I'm not very fond of barging in and starting an offensive. It's just so barbaric and uncultured, but I suppose orkz will be orkz. While you're down there Dubshredda, see if you can collect any of their writing, if they've advanced that far. I know it's not typical ork loot, but it would be very helpful for us. Take care and have a grand o'l time stirring up the natives!'"

"HUH? My boyz 'nd me are gunna go to thaaaaaaaat part over 'dere. Ya wanna fight us greenskinz fer it ya can, it'll give da boyz sumthin good ta look forwards too. If ya wanted ta be kunnin I can 'ave it arranged fer some boyz to appear on yur end of dis planet." Dubshredda haphazardly closes in on the Vuloir homeworld and begins deployment to one of the smaller landmasses (Only committing 5000 boyz to deployment in the first five days to check livability.),

[Dubshredda has no intentions of giving up his initial staging area. But a diversion can be established elsewhere.]

[img][/img]

This is the layout of the Vuloir home world. The grey dotted line is the equator of the planet withe the white covered areas being frozen land masses at the north and south poles. Sensors indicate that the air is breathable but that all life on the planet is silicate in nature (meaning you can't eat it and expect it to be very pointy and hard). Much of the surface is covered in "jungles" and "forests" but is littered in the debris from dozens of ships. You do not know if the water is drinkable or not and you do not detect any camps of Vuloir (or any other species possibly) on the surface.

[I should have made this last night before Dubshredda said he was sending his boyz but this way you can plot more strategically and not have some huge surprise slap you across the face]

"Did the Vuloir book mention where the traveler encountered them? On land, underground, in the sea?" Tristan asks.

"Dubshredda, when you said 'here' I'm certain you meant this archiepelago formation. Once we have taken the planet for our own we can divide up the land as we see fit. For now, it would be best to restrain your boyz in a contained area, so we avoid planting the whole planet with your little spores."

[The book made it appear as though they were found above ground]

Dubshredda and his boyz land a little north of the equator on the eastern continent. On his descent he asks Aten "Wut sporez?"

Aten sighs, realizing his dream of ork containment was impossible. He moves the Tuktakta into a stable orbit over the continent Dubshredda has just invaded. All sensors are poised and collecting as much information as possible.

Down, down the Orks went. In their craft they descend and somehow don't burn up in the atmosphere. Once they breach the clouds they are greeted by an amazing sight: surrounding them is what appears to be a never ending expanse of crystalline trees that glisten in the orange sunlight while large birds and flying snake like creatures glide through the air effortlessly. As you descend further the trees don't even bend underneath the powerful exhaust of the engines but eventually you find a clearing near the base of a waterfall. When you land silicate wildlife disperses away from the new arrivals. All is so peaceful and serine, that is, until you show up. With tremendous noise your boyz begin exiting the shuttles. As you step out silicate grass crunches underneath your metal boot and you take a deep breath of air... it burns a little inside your lungs. Near you the other 5K Orks begin to exit except when they step onto the grass they get punctured by a hundred separate needles and yelp in pain and complain their lungs are on fire. Fun times this planet, fun times indeed...

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The Necron ship moves into position and begins doing thorough scans of the planet. You're not sure what it is but for some reason your scanners cannot get a good signal of the surface and high resolution images are impossible.