Chunky Gersha: Wonders of Wool

Gersha manages to reach the street that her apartment building is on, but the roads are pack with people, making it difficult to maneuver past and into her apartment without some tussle.

And a tussle it will have to be. "Make way! Make way!" Gersha calls. She squeezes into the crowd and maneuvers into a flow that gets her towards her residence, verbally goading anyone who doesn't appear to be moving.

Gersha uses the strength of her character to worm her way through the crowded street, garnering her a couple of angry glances from various people she had to shove aside and leaving her looking like a ruffled chicken.

When she thought she could finally find sweet solace in her home, Gersha is instead greeted in front of her doorway by a small old lady named Mrs. Bassi, who lived down the hall.

"Feh, I thought they locked you up Folsom. I knew that this country was going to shit, to let scum like you walk the streets free," begins Mrs. Bassi on another of her signature rants, practically blowing her words out of the missing spaces between her teeth rather than moving her mouth.

"To try to kill your own best friend, now that's a new low even for you. Or maybe it isn't. Heh, ever since I heard that your husband left you I knew you were a sick deviant, now you're finally showing your true colors."

Oh dear, the treacherous Mrs. Bassi. Gersha had hoped to avoid another encounter with this disreputable character. Righteous anger surges up her spine as she remembers the old bat's sudden but inevitable betrayal all those months ago, and the consequent numerous failed attempts on each woman's part to evict the other from the apartment complex.
Now's not the time to stoop to petty squabbles though, not with all that could be at stake at this very moment. That comes later.

Reminding herself of this, Gersha decides she will take the high road and be the bigger woman.
"Now see here Mrs. Bassi, we may have had some personal disagreements in the past on various matters. Actually, quite a lot of disagreements, and most still unresolved to date." Even though it was so obvious that Gersha had the right of things. "However, that's still no reason for you to resort to such coarse language. I'd like you to apologize for swearing, please."

"Hun? Did I swear? Strange, I don't remember myself saying a damned thing that would count as swearing," Mrs. Bassi reveals a patchwork grin that doesn't look all too friendly, "I think your osteoperosis is getting to ya, Mrs. Folsom. Now if I may take my humble leave."

"I'm not married anymore Mrs. Bassi, and I'm not mistaken, you are definitely aware of all the filth that spews out of your mouth. Did you really expect me to believe such an obvious lie? If you'll just apologize for swearing and lying, we can be on our separate ways."

"Prove it," says Mrs. Bassi, crossing her arms.

Gersha sighed. It would be so convenient if there was a device that could "record" exactly what you had said and then repeat it all back, word for word. Like a parrot, only on demand and with buttons. This would have greatly simplified her day on at least two occasions, including this one.
This was just one revolutionary idea of the many constantly running through her head that would surely make the world a better place than it is now. Truly, she is a woman ahead of her time, and she cannot allow lesser minds like Mrs. Bassi to get in the way of the future.
"Very well then Mrs. Bassi, I shall prove it to you. I should also like to see what kind of proof you have for the outlandish accusations you made of me just now and in the past. If you'll come inside, we can discuss this over some nice hot tea, my treat."

"Hrump, what is there to discuss when I'm already right? Proof is for other people, I don't need it. Also, I will have to politely refuse your tea, Folsom, who knows what you put in there? You could've dumped an entire bottle of whatever Calcium-magigger you keep rambling about into it and poison me!"

Mrs. Bassi crosses her arms and saunters away.

She's gained the advantage. Gersha steps in front of Mrs. Bassi. "So you don't need proof after all? Very well, now please apologize for lying and swearing at me."

"Heh, Folsom, your ears have problem too eh? Or are you trying to murder me? Well I'm not afraid of ya."

Mrs. Bassi takes a step forward and squares up against Gersha, too bad shes actually a bit shorter. Her grimace, however, fills Gersha's vision and is as unpleasant as ever.

Gersha frowns. "You don't have to be afraid, Mrs. Bassi, but you should be sorry. I'm just concerned that you're not setting a good example for your children with your offensive language and hostile attitude. Aren't you concerned about that?"

"My children of course are perfect angels, because they have ME as their mother. The same can't be said for yours Folsom."

"Is that so? What are they up to now?"

"Hah, both of my daughters are prosecutors, putting them criminal scum where they belong, and my son is a police captain. I thought you know this already? What are YOUR children doing hun?"

"Oh my, both prosecutors? That doesn't seem like a very ladylike job, what with all the yelling and...well, I suppose it suits them quite nicely. What area of law do they practice in?"

"You haven't answered my question Folsom, or could it be... that you do not know?" Mrs. Bassi snickers.

"That's why I'm asking you silly. They can't prosecute in every area, after all. There's simply too much."

"Where are your children Folsom? Not answering the question isn't going to make my forget about it."

"I think you meant to say "me" instead of "my", Mrs. Bassi. Now if you really want to know, I'd love to tell you all about my children. Just have a seat inside, you don't have to drink anything if its...not your cup of tea." Gersha chuckles at her unintentional humor.

"Hah, you Rimerians and your strange accents, and you can tell me right now, no need to sit. I told you standing up afterall."

"Well you didn't have to do that Mrs. Bassi, but I appreciate the gesture. It's been a long day, and I'm afraid my constitution is a bit worn down. So what was it you asked about? My children..." Gersha goes into a deep frown as she tries to recall something.
"Hmm . . . I . . . hun?" [he is] A vein throbs in her forehead. She shuts her eyes in concentration.
"What? No, wait a moment . . . no, that . . . that can't . . . !" [for you]
Gersha clutches her head as she grows more distraught by the second.
"It's . . . [almost] . . . no . . . ah . . . ah, AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Gersha's unhinged jaw unleashes a wordless, ear-piercing scream.

"Wuh... uhh." Mrs. Bassi stutters momentarily. "Folsom, what in Crov's name are you doing?"

"AANNHHG, RRRNNNAAAAAGHHH!!!!!"
Gersha makes a mess of her hair as she rubs her scalp, shaking all over. "W-WHY?!?"
At Mrs. Bassi's response, Gersha looks straight at her with bloodshot eyes.
"C- CROV'S NAME, WHYYY?!?? [not crov] IT DIDN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY, SO WHY, WHY, WHY?!?"
She grabs Mrs. Bassi and shakes her violently.
"TELLLL MEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"