Chocolate destiny character creation

Alright chumps, it's time to create your crappy character. Follow the steps below and then either PM or email your sheet to me. Remember, the setting is standard fantasy. That means you should be cyborgs with jet packs and h4xx0r skillz.

Character creation in 3.5 easy steps:
1. Make lore
   
2. Pick swag and 2.5 pick spells/abilities
   
3. pick skills
   

For the lore/backstory you can write as much or as little as you want, just make sure there's a physical description and maybe some clue as to why your character has the swag, abilities, and skillz they do. One common element I'm going to force on you: Your characters have all ended up in the starting location via a seafaring ship's voyage across continents. Think about their reasons for undertaking this voyage.

You can start with whatever mundane adventuring supplies and small items you want. If you're not sure what to get, hit up the PRD and any other splats you know for ideas. You'll start in an inhabited area, so you don't have to go overboard on rations or whatever. If you feel like a true socialist you can start with nothing for all I care. My primary concern is your "big" (important) abilities and items.

Big stuff includes:
• Weapons
  
• Armor
  
• Enchanted Weapons and Armor
  
• Other Magical Swag (Artifacts)
  
• Companions, Pets, Steeds
  
• Spells
  
• Extraordinary abilities
  

Try not to have a lot of these unless your character's theme justifies it. Here are a couple of really bad examples I made up for the lulz.
"I am knife spam gril so I have a hundred knives"
"I am the king of heroes so I have enough swords"
"I am a Garen/Mogul Khan expy so I have spin attack"
"I am the puppet master, that's why I get a squad of living mannequins"
If you say something like "I'm armor man so I have 3 suits of plate armor" I'll cringe but I might still accept it. Don't be afraid to go bananas with this, because the worst thing I can say is "no". Actually that's far from the worst thing I could say but whatever.

Pick from 1 to 5 skills from the list that your character is good at, and maybe one or two things that they're really good at. Use the phrases "good at" and "really good at" on your sheet to denote which is which, because there are totally no numerical bonuses involved. None whatsoever.
Everyone is assumed to have the "common"/pleb language so don't worry about that. Stuff like Disguise, sleight of hand and ventriloquism can be represented through abilities. I think. Speak out if you disagree so I can smite you. Just kidding.

Skills List: Parentheses indicate separate subgroups of a category.
• Weapon Training (Polearms, blades, daggers/knives, Axes, Blunt/Mace, Bows, Firearms, Siege, Shields, Throwing, Improvised etc.)
  
• Armor Training (Mail, Plate, Exotic)
  
• Knowledge (flora, fauna, geography, chemicals, history, religion/occult, local area, engineering, magic, mathematics, nobility, etc.)
  
• Athletics (Swimming, Climbing, Balancing, etc.)
  
• Social Perception
  
• Stealth
  
• Language (Draconian, Goblinoid, Troll, Fish, etc.)
  
• Riding/Pilot Training (Horses, dogs, bears, ostriches, etc.)
  
• First Aid
  
• Profession (Doctor, Craftsman, Singer/Musician)
  
• Survival - Climate dependent (Desert, Tundra, Tropical forest)
  

If you want to do a certain character build/theme but the list doesn't have skills that support it, just reply to this thread with your suggestions.

Question! How ridiculous can i make the character?

The sky's the limit baby. Ridiculousness is a quality I actively encourage.

Character Sheet: Lil' Prince Ali

Spoiler:

Richard was a mild-mannered physicist working at the LHC before a cheerful experiment gone wrong dragged him into this world. As a child, he was well-adjusted. His family was supportive and always supported his dreams. They gave him the finest care and made sure he received the best education money could buy (and their money could buy quite an education). After graduate school, where he worked on extensive applications of theoretical wormhole particle physics he earned a prestigious post-doc working at the LHC. During one of his experiments he accidentally stumbled into the particle beam and was thrown headlong into an alternate dimension.

Suddenly he found himself endowed with new abilities. By stretching his mind he can form portals anchored on solid surfaces, linking any two points within 500m. Before he was blasted through he managed to rip out a key piece of technology, which he has since modified to create a particle beam gun. This gun, to the best of his understanding, takes atoms from the atmosphere, condenses them, and then blasts the excited particles at enemies, causing devastation in its wake.

He is skilled in Physics and all the associated Mathematics. He has become trained in the use of his particle gun. In addition he is quite adept at horse riding and social perception, leftover skills from his whimsical and amazing childhood.

Denied, everybody knows the LHC was faked the same way they faked the moon landing. Sorry Dick.

Ah, but Richard is from a strange parallel universe where all conspiracy theories turn out to be false, of course.

Parallel universes are a lie made up by the elite to keep the poor masses content with the false possibility that they could ever break free of their oppression.