Wait! It's dangerous out there, take two!

Commander Zuensyr says over the comms with a very audible amount of racket coming over from the background "I believe that you're in in Captain. The laning bays are the largest single space we ha..." the last part of his report is cut off by a very audible fist connecting with his jawline causing a crack

"'DUUUBSHRREDAA! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DANCE OFF. THE LANDING BAY. NOW. BRING YOUR FRIENDS. Unless of course you're scared...'"

Dubshredda yells out with such intensity the his worlds reverberate through the spirit bone halls: "LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEN UUUUUUUUUPPPPP! 'EREY BOY 'ND NOB 'ND GREENSKIN GIT TO DA LANDIN BAY OR 'E ANSWERZ TA ME! 'Ure challenge iz accepted squishy 'ting." Dubshredda trudges down the hall and takes a wrong turn. It is apparent that the Kaptin is very lost.

With Dubshreadda's call a audible roar goes out throughout the ship "WAAAAAAGH!!!" with thunderous stomping all five thousand Orks storm in from every entrance into the landing bay. Squigs and Gretchins fling about the air above the crowd as the sheer density in the halls of the ship prevents them from landing. When all are in and formed into a giant mob standing before the freebooter the Eldar pilots stumble forward from the entrances battered and bruised. They suffer through their injuries and form into a cohesive formation behind the mob of Orks. Flanking the sides of the Orks are the Necron warriors who manage to keep the mob from piling onto the assault craft by virtue of just being in the way.

Dubshredda drops his big choppa and stretches. A loud crack accommodates every lunge and bend, one might think the ork was made entirely of metal joints if they did not know better. After a minute of preparation the Kaptin goes into a handstand and does push ups to show off his physique.

"Firsa and her honor guard walk into the room with a swaga like fiiya. Many races aliken the grace of Eldar combat to an elegant dance, but for Firsa and her guard, that sentiment is no mere metaphor. In the long years spent wandering the void, this particular group of eldars grew quite tired of the bland combat simulations meant to keep them in fighting shape. Firsa's solution: form the 11 strong troupe into the sickest dance squad the sector will eva see.

'Tanurom, hit it.' All lights go off in a flash, and just as suddenly the bright lights used to guide ships for safe landing illuminate Firsa in glorious spotlight. The next moment another one illuminates Dubshreadda. Firsa and the honor guard fan out into a single row, each standing with their arms crossed. Silence.

Dubshredda stomps with his right foot at a steady pace. The orks in the background pickup the beat and start clapping. Once the boyz have the beat Dubshredda switches to a muted shuffle. Through the power of WAAAGH! the boyz pickup the song going through Dubshredda's mind and begin to sing, although out of harmony.



Dubshredda breaks out into a smooth dance routine complete with a novice hat spin. His feet pound like thunder and the sight of his immense frame moving so oddly is dizzying to the crowd. He finishes off his routine and shoots finger guns at Firsa indicating it's her move.

"Firsa watches the Orkz with faint amusement. 'Their art is adorably primitive, oh my, we have quite a few things to show our new friends' she thinks. As the dust settles, Firsa nods silently towards a wall, and smoke starts pouring in to the room."



[start watching at 0:12]

"As the dance ends, Firsa gives Dubshredda a sly wink as if to say bring it on."

The orks in the crowd slowly succeed to sing in harmony. Dubshredda yells out to them "FAN DA SMOKE!" and they begin to fan their arms up and down, pushing all the smoke to the center of the space. Suddenly lights shoot out all around the dance floor and emanate from Dubshredda's location. Just as the music begins Dubshredda picks and swings his choppa with the flatside to clear out smoke from his location so that everyone can keep theirs eyes on him.



The orks singing improves every moment and though their voices are painful to hear the performance is actually quite admirable. Dubshredda breaks out his dance moves and dazzles the crowd (quite literally considering his disco ball). He finishes his bit with a loud stomp to silence his acapella orks and "grins" at Firsa's group.

"As the Orkz preform, Firsa hatches a back up plan in case things go horribly wrong. She whispers to one of her guard, being careful to remain focused on the Orkz' dancing. 'Deliver this message to Officer Zuensyr. As fast and as quietly as possible, I want the hallucinogen grenades set into the hangar ventilation system. Bring gas masks for as many of the Eldar as you can. I imagine there will be a total of three more performances after this one between the two of our groups, so we don't have much time. On my word, I want our greenskin friends tripping daisies.'

Having set a hopefully unnecessary ace into its hole, Firsa watches the rest of the performance with great amusement. Cracking a smirk, Firsa taunts the Ork leader. 'Dubshredda, most impressive, most impressive indeed! However, I'm afraid I might just dubbetta.'

With that, the room fills with dazzling light, revealing the Eldar troupe in a completely new outfit. Firsa in particular has thrown aside her captain's uniform and now wears a sparkling silver leotard.

'Get ready... for some shufflin'.'



[start at 3:38]

Aten stands very still, hoping no one will notice him. What is going on?! How has the galaxy changed so much in just 65 million years?!?! What are these youth doing?! He very slowly moves over to Baravyn.

"Baravyn, perhaps we should focus on getting more of your Eldar on board the Tanurom. I thin your Captain's long isolation has had a negative effect on her mental stability."

If possible, Aten will also plug the chip into his cerebral circuits to try and learn what they must accomplish. However, he will not go near that dance frenzy, so if he must wait, then he will wait.

Unfortunately the chip is still with Firsa who is currently in front of five thousand burly Orks. A few moments go by and the member of the honor guard, Srixsha, tells you the Commander is currently unconscious and suffering from severe head trauma. You do see the flight crew slide out of the hanger, however.

As the dancing continues the Orks begin building up in a frenzy as they sing. The claustrophobic conditions they are all in does not help as many of the Orks are bumping into each other and a massive fight is a very real possibility. For now though the Orks are singing in relative harmony while sometimes shouting WAAAAGH!!!

"'DUUUUBBSHRRREDDAA. We each get one more dance, so you had better give me everything you've got! You pick five of your best orkz and I will pick five Eldar to be judges for the final round. Of course, Aten will be the tie-breaker. If you, GREAT DUBSHREDDA win, then truly you are too awesome to serve under me, and you will be officially named co-captain of Tanurom. But if I win, then you and your orkz will view me as DA BAWSS as long as you are aboard my ship and follow every single one of my orders. Now, do you want to keep talking, or do you want TO DANCE!! It's your move friend.'"

One Ork from the crowd shouts "YOU'RE DA GREENEST BOSS! GIVE THE SCRAWNY TING DA OLD DUBSHREDDA PUNCH! MIGHT MAKES RIGHT BOSS!"

"About how long 'till the hallucinogen grenades are in place?" asks Tristan.

Baravyn sighs, being use to Firsa's antics, and turns to respond to Aten, "trust me we are going to have to wait this out before anything else can be done. Its probably a good idea to wait till this is over before we try get any more eldar on board the ship, it might cause problems if they see all of your people and all of the orks without the captain there to reassure them that this isn't some hostile take over of the ship. If not done delicately things could get messy."

Dubshredda has an epiphany that the captain does not infact want to dance for fun, but to try and be big the biggest. His heart sinks a little and he is sad that dancing was made into something cunning but the prospect of fighting cheers him up quickly. Dubshredda picks up big choppa and scratches his hat while saying: "OHHHH!! Why little squishy not be clear? Dubshredda 'ave no care to be da baws o' squishy tings." Dubshredda smiles menacingly (though, all his smiles are menacing) and continues "BUUUUUUT!!!! If you wanna be da boss ork of da orks 'den we sho' MIGHT. MAKES. RIIIIIIIGHT!!!" He finishes his sentence like an announcer for a fighting ring would.

"WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" shout all the Orks at once causing the whole ship to reverberate violently.

"'Might makes right hmm?? I'll certainly think about fighting you, but we're not done dancing yet! Perhaps after this last round. Now, I still want to make this interesting, so let's make another wager. What do you want from me? Think about it. You could blast any music you wanted over the whole ship. You could take one of our ships and make it into your very own ork flyer. Paint it red even! What do you say?'

While the orkz are busy thinking it over, Firsa whispers to the nearest of her honor guard. 'Any news on operation daisy?'"

Dubshredda and the orks are already too far gone. The declaration to become boss has brought out a lust for shows of force that must be sated. Dubshredda starts approaching the Eldar.

The guard whispers back "Operation daisy is a go"

The Orks have now begun chanting and many fist fights have begun breaking out amongst the crowd

"'Excellent. Bring down the light-up void suits. We're going to give them our best.'"

"Firsa yells out to the crowd. 'Your boyz are gettin' antsy Dubshredda. You're not going to back down from the dance off now are you?'"

"DUBSHREDDA! DUBSHREDDA! DUBSHREDDA!" The Orks chant louder and louder

"ENUFF WURDS SQUISHY 'UN! NO KUNNIN DANCIN, NO MOA' FLASHY BUT GREAT EFFEKTS! IF YOU WANNA BE DA BOSS DEN YOU GOTTA BE STRONK! WAAAAAAAGH!" Dubshredda barrels towards Firsa.

[Roll initiatives]

[+4 to this roll]

The member 'Darkgenesis' has done the following action : Dice Roll\'d

'CTech D10' : 10

"Even with Firsa's incredible Eldar reflexes, she just barely manages to react in time to the charging ork. Still dressed in her dazzling silver leotard, she reaches out for her shuriken catapult, which soars gently into her hands. There it lets loose a dizzying barage of shuriken that reduce Dubshredda to a bloody pulp. Or does it?"

The storm of shuriken cuts and wounds shred the ork kaptin. The sheer force of the shots forces Dubshredda to yell out in agony. He snarls and holds fast in the face of the gore and punishment even though his ork constitution may give out at any moment. He roars the signature word: "WAAAAAAGH!" and charges towards the graceful Firsa. He brings down his oversized choppa in an attempt to pummel Firsa but his opponent dodges deftly, even with a heavy shuriken cannon in her arms. He follows up the strike with a spinning slice and almost meets his target. Alas, blood pouring from shallow wounds on his head obscure his vision and he confuses the sharp edge of his choppa for the flat. The attack crushes into Firsa but only sends her into unconsciousness.

Dubshredda stares at his bested comrade and foe. He nods to himself and grunts as if approving of himself and turns to face his boyz. "GRAAAAAWWWWWHHHH! I'M DA BIGGES' AN' YA LISSEN TA ME? GOT IT? I'M DA BOSS!" He begins to hobble towards the other side of the ring.

Baravyn steps between Dubshredda and Firsa's unconscious body, witchblade drawn and at the ready, "You presume much to attack the captain of this vessel ork. Think carefully on what you decide to do next, but I can assure you that you aren't the 'boss' of this ship. If you still feel the need to challenge the strength of the eldar look no further than me.

Before any more blows can be struck the Ork horde surges forward and they pick up Dubshredda into their ranks. As a group they all begin chanting "WAAAGH Dubshredda! WAAAGH Dubshredda!" And begin to move off into the ship. The honor guard prevent any more damage from being done to the captain and before long the Orks have disappeared from the landing bays

Dubshredda cares not for the "squishy ting" defending the eldar who wielded great dakka dakka. Instead he is consumed by the party spirit of his boyz and gleefully joins them in the lower halls of the vessel. Havoc is wreaked upon the corridors but the damage is superficial and nothing of actual importance is broken.

Baravyn sheathes his witchblade and turns to the honor guard, "We need to take measures to ensure that the orks cannot take control of the vessel, they might not be able to control it but that won't stop them from trying. As of now they outnumber us and they believe that their leader is stronger than our captain, so there is a chance that they will try. Aten is it too much to ask that you assist us in this after?"

Tristan looks a little sad. His first PRG character ever was just nearly killed. "Let me know when Firsa wakes up," he mumbles to the Lord-Captain, trying his best to maintain his bad-ass countenance.

Desilco smiles to Tristan and says "Don't worry, there will be ample opportunity for death later." He then returns to the game.

Captain Firsa awakens with a start a couple moments after Baravyn speaks to Aten. You have a head splitting headache and your shurikan catapult has been scattered across the floor from your hands

"This situation is spiraling quickly out of control. My men can do their best to act as a police force, but Orks respect nothing but physical prowess. To truly control them we would have to defeat their leader in battle. I don't believe any of us are strong enough to do so safely; next time he might not use the flat of his blade. Instead we have to manipulate them by giving them what they want. Orks can be easily distracted. Let us examine the list of the Lord Phaeron. Perhaps there is some object requiring mass bloodshed and fighting. The Orks should remain quiescent enough while we are en route to mass combat."

Unfortunately we might not be able to offer them anything for quite some time. Anyway I don't feel comfortable relying on their sense of reason to keep the vessel safe, if we decide that the only way to stop them is to appease them then we are giving them the power and hoping that they don't use it against us. If the worst comes to pass I shall fight the ork leader in combat.

"Firsa looks around, blinking in pain. 'Well, what are you waiting for? You have a wounded lady on your hands, take her to the god damned infirmary!' The next moment, she passes out. Not three seconds later, she comes to and commands feebly, 'let the orkz alone for now, they deserve it. When they've calmed down, however long that takes, set up the lodgings so that every 10 orks pairs off with one Necron.'

Just as suddenly as she awoke, Firsa again lapses into unconsciousness. If you lean your ear in close enough, you can hear her murmuring something, as though dreaming.

'We heard you fought well madame-capitan.'

'Oh stop it, you're too kind...'

"Perhaps I was not clear.  We are not relying on their sense of reason to keep the vessel safe.  Orks do not have a sense of reason.  We are relying on them being too excited for an upcoming battle to lead a mutiny and take over the ship.  I strongly advise against your challenging Dubshredda.  If you fight and lose, this ship will be without a seer.  I gather that  you Eldar rely heavily on such seers in navigation and managing a ship of this kind."

Aten also orders his men out in groups of ten, with orders to protect major components and remain in vox contact at all time. He finally investigates the chip, following along Firsa as she is brought to the infirmary (which has no doctors or nurses. The only person with medicae is Firsa I think).

After some time Dubshredda wanders away from his boyz to the upper decks in search of important looking Eldar. Instead he happens upon Aten. "UAGH! Shiny bit!" There is a definite tone of happiness in the Kaptin's voice. "I wuz lookin fer da squishy ting ta diss-kuss turms but I dunno wur she is. You 'appen ta kno- 'ey, wut's dat teenier shiny bit?" Dubshredda points his meaty finger at the data chip.

"Do you remember the Lord Phaeron? The big shiny bit? He needs us to go get things for him. There is a list of what we need to get on this chip. I'm about to learn what in-for-ma-tion is on this. Do you understand?" Aten speaks as if to a small child and then plugs the chip into his cerebral circuits.

The necrons go off and setup to guard entryways into major components. Firsa is carried off to let her wounds heal naturally seeing as nobody else can perform medicae. Baravyn can feel the souls of the ship are becoming extremely agitated due to Orks stomping around. The data chip is in Atens possession.

"I think it's pretty safe to assume several if not all of Firsa's honor guard are trained in medicae" Tristan chimes in hopefully.

"I got da Orky Kno Wots! But Shiny bit, is dat teenier bit 'un of yur people?"

"No. It's more like a piece of my memories which I never knew. Now that it's in my brain, I know what we have to look for. The Captain will want to hear this." Aten then strides off to find Firsa.

"Who's da Kaptin?! I tot I wuz da Kaptin! Wait fer meeeeeee." Dubshredda follows Aten.

And so everyone is now in the medical facility. Zuensyr is also laid out on a bed across from Frisa. Five of the honor guard stand watch outside of the facility while Orks run by doing crazy stuff

"Lady Firsa, here is the list we are required to gather for the Lord Phaeron. As you can see, it is very ambitious. However, I do not believe that the Lord Phaeron actually requires us to fulfill the entire list. if we return with 5 or 6 of these unique items I believe he would be sufficiently pleased."

Dubshredda tries to stand on the tips of his toes to read the list but can't quite make it out, nor can he read. "Wut list say?"

"'Do you people have no respect for a lady trying to get some beauty sleep?' Firsa lets out a long sigh and painfully sits up in her bed to see the odd assortment before her.

'Dubshredda,' she smiles, 'not many creatures can stand up to the might of Captain Firsa. I would love a rematch some time. Unfortunately we Eldar aren't as tough as the awesome orkz, so we'd have to use training weapons. Alas, you won fair and square, so as soon as I'm better, I will present you with a worthy prize.

That said, some punishment is in order. I do not tolerate dishonor on my vessel. Not only did you assault me without first asking me politely to a duel, you unceremoniously backed down from our dancing competition. When I start something, I finish it, and I expect everyone on this ship to do the same.

Through failure we learn. Through learning we triumph. Through triumph we are eternal.

As punishment, you and 500 of your boyz must clean up all the damage you did to Tanurom, all under Eldar and Necron watch. Also, you must apologize personally to Tanurom itself. The Eldar souls that run this ship are quite upset with how your boyz behaved and Tanurom deserves better.

Once you've done all that, then you can meet me on the bridge, and I'll give you a special prize, just for you.'"