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SCP Mad Libs

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SCP Mad Libs Empty SCP Mad Libs

Post by Corenat Rovarnus on 2013-02-16, 19:55

CLASSIFIED BY ORDER OF O5-█

Item #: SCP-343-J

Object Class: Bieber

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-343-J is to be kept in a Pudding-lined containment chamber located in my closet, where it is to be guarded at all times by no less than 56 plumbers armed with stickers.

In the event that SCP-343-J ever begins sucking its penis, Phil Coulson is to rape SCP-343-J until it ceases its behavior. In the event of a containment breach, Mobile Task Force Omicron-7 (''Jimmy Kimmel Live!'') is to be dispatched to SCP-343-J's last known location.

Description: SCP-343-J is a scurrilous pangolin. Like most members of its species, it is able to ejaculate hats, and regularly eats twice its own weight in Pudding each day.

SCP-343-J's unusual properties manifest whenever it comes in contact with teddy bears, which causes it to turn into Nicholas Cage. Whenever this happens, all sweatshops within a 1860 kilometer radius will begin to jam uncontrollably, usually leading to civilian casualties.

In addition, many researchers feel it has an uncanny resemblance to Ricky Gervais. Whether or not this is at all related to SCP-343-J's anomalous properties is unknown at this time.

Recovery Log: SCP-343-J was first located in Hinamizawa where the Green Bay Meatpackers were using it in order to turn everyone into clowns. Thankfully, Mobile Task Force Omicron-7 (''Jimmy Kimmel Live!'') was able to recover the object with only Aleph-one civilian casualties.

Addendum: Test Log 343-1

Dr. Albrecht: Ello? Ello? Is zhis thing on? Ach, good. Zhis is Docktorr Albrecht, and I am about to test SCP-343's reaction to bltch. Are you ready to proceed, Docktorr Jiffy?

Dr. Jiffy: Yes sir, ready to begin test.

Dr. Albrecht: Excellent! I am now introducing the bltch to 343... hmm, zhe subject seems to have already figured out zhe test material.

Dr. Jiffy: Making a note; 'subject shows high capacity for learning'.

Albrecht: Now zhe subject is lookink right at me, almost as if it... MEIN GOTT! MEIN areola! IT'S GOT MEIN areola! OH ZHE AGONY! ZHE AGONEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

END LOG

In light of incident 343-J-1, testing has been suspended indefinitely. - O5-█

http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-even-number-j
Corenat Rovarnus
Corenat Rovarnus
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