Dinkum's random magic item generator

Spice up your next campaign with one of these hand crafted items. Created lovingly by the author of the Rusty and Company webcomic.
http://rustyandco.com/extras/magicitemgenerator/
Post the most memorable ones here.

Solar-Powered Toaster of Haystacks:
Topped with a dark pane of glass, this toaster creates a 10 foot haystack whenever the command word is spoken when plugged in. It needs to sit in sunlight for an hour to recharge this power.

Greasy Socks of Slashing:
This slimy pair of socks reveals a row of hidden, pop-up blades while worn, but there's a 25% chance the user drops it when trying to use it.

Orcbane Arrow of Carbonation:
A rusted, barbed arrow can carbonate any liquids it touches when hitting your target. It's twice as effective if used against orcs. It can carbonate an entire lake in one hour.

Wow, some of these are actually pretty funny. I don't think they'd be of much use in most RPG systems though.

Bubbly Beaded Curtain of the Squirrel
This pearlescent curtain when hung over a doorframe allows the user to detect the nearest stash of nuts within a mile radius , and it emits a colorful spray of bubbles while working. Note: Peanuts are not nuts.

Incandescent Orb of Social Media
This glowing orb updates your Facebook and Twitter every time it is used when the command word is spoken, but only when vigorously shaken. Yes, it updates Facebook and Twitter even if you don't want it to.

Scented Sunglasses of Karaoke
A mauve pair of tinted glasses amplies the speaker's voice while adding a musical harmonizing track whenever the glasses are dramatically removed, and it emits a puff of lavender every time it's used. The user doesn't get to choose the song.

Spring-loaded Stone of Dolphins
This pewter hunk of rock gives the user the ability to telekinetically communicate with dolphins while carried, and it pops out a short, sharp blade when a hidden button on the side is pressed. Works on porpoises, too.

Paper Pants of Ice
Made of folded paper, this pair of trousers allows the user to create 15 foot patches of ice where they stand while worn without underwear. Every time it is used, there's a 30% chance it is destroyed. Only works three times a day.

And for the grand finale....

Golden Lingerie of the Kraken
This pearlescent, lacy lingerie attacks everyone within 5 feet with eight stubby tentacles when worn, and every time you use it, 5 gold pieces pop out!